This BHH was boring.
I read all these tales of grandeur about the previous 2 BHHs and I was hoping to see for myself this time. That plus Heaven was really mean to me the last time I did not attend. There was a low turn up. Even those that came fashionably late were awfully early! By 7:30, the few of us who were there were trying desperately hard to come up with conversations that generated more than a ha ha, kyoka you!, yea I love your tattoo, I should have one done myself, except that I won’t sort of responses. It is tough being a BHH attending blogger I tell you. Especially when Cheri is not around or when Lucy has not promised us coverage!
Darlene is high on something I want in on. How else do you explain that she never tired of huggin, huggin, huggin, even the suspiciously smelling bloggers? Speaking of suspiciously smelling, Spartakus, not that I am saying that he is smelly or anything, it is just that suspicious and Spartakus do rhyme. Although to be honest I found it strange that you preferred to squat rather than sit where somebody could take a whiff of you, but stranger things happen. Now, why is Spartakus always marketing something? Project Fame, Poetry recitals, Viagra, NSSF, Quest Net, the presidency, you’re selling it, he will find you the buyer!
Chanel came up in the conversation mostly allegations about her Redpepper escapades but I refused to take part in that conversation coz you know, we used to be friends
Stretsyder is really violent. He greeted me with a whack on the nose, which I thought was so the god’s must be crazy but I said nothing of the sort to him lest now he goes for my neck or something. Having managed to successfully avoid him the whole evening he caught up with me just before I left and he challenged me to arm wrestling. How barbaric is this person?. You can take a boy(yes I said it) off the street…
Gug was there. Or maybe he was not the one. Coz later the gug impersonator left with a chic. Either it was genuinely gug and they were off looking for a shopping mall or it was Hyena come to infiltrate the bogging community. I can already see the headline.
“Hyena hooks bummy blogger and shafts her from behind Café Pap before horny waitress begged for her turn.” Or some such. I am no expert at Hyena.
Roll call: Edge of Innocence rumor has it he was hanging around me a lot, if that is true, I did not notice and can he do better next time? Dusk, brought her full blown madness with her in form of fantastic knee length high heel boots. Darlene the hugger. She has a Chinese tattoo. Sleek and wild who lo and behold is a GUY! I think we shared a moment. Guy, you confirm. Xiona. Nobody could pronounce her name, I doubt she is a blogger. Spartakus, he offered me tickets to project fame. i would like to formally turn them down here. StreetSyder whom I shall forgive for the nose whacking incident only because he has a way with words and I suspect he is always trying to show off at his blog. Solomon King who is the only living blogger that knows who The Emry’s is.Nevender's cousin. Nevender who tried to engage the Gug person in conversation which I thought was endearing.
“So gug, assuming you are gay, how is your boyfriend?”
“Which one, I have many. But they are all fine anyway”
BHH beepers included Dante, who came in to show off his very nice vest and Nathan who used to run a fantastic blog and went by the name Magoo, he did not act as if he was showing off anything really so I guess for him he had good intentions.
I would have loved to see some veterans; Baz, Kissyfur, Tumwi, B2B etc.
Beyonce is slutty and the Sanyu breakfast show
Beyonce’s new (?) video ‘ego’ was showing on a music channel the other day when I started in surprise. Why, that thing looked just like ‘put a ring on it,’ why was she using the same video for two different songs? But she wasn’t. Just that in this video too, she was wearing one of those swimsuit costumy things that show off her bajingo and all those other things jay man should have patented when he put a ring on it.
Thing is, Beyonce, you do not have to go naked to be able to shoot music videos. It is getting annoying Bey. Also, please stop blaming your randiness on your alter ego. All I am saying Bey is that you do not have to sell your soul or thighs to make a good music video. Ok, so you are sexy, your curves are fantastically sculptured but get over it already! Although you do look good naked
I was surprised to wake up to Crystal on the Sanyu Breakfast show the other day. Turns out Melanie was not feeling well (they always say that). Anyway, so Crystal bless her, actually hosted a good show! Props to her for doing a mean press review actually breaking down and explaining the implications of the different newspaper items! I thought to myself, that’s just what we need! A brilliant person on morning radio and not just someone that will say ‘hmm’ or ‘oh yeah yeah’ or ‘am like yeah yeah yeah’ or ‘ha ha ha ah’ or’ moving swiftly on, or what else is new’ after they have read the day’s headline. You want to listen to a show that will inspire you, not people who make you feel smarter than you actually are. Kudos Crystal.
A friend of mine was joking (?) the other day that the only thing they say with conviction on the Sanyu breakfast show in when they are announcing the day’s special people.
Thing is, Beyonce, you do not have to go naked to be able to shoot music videos. It is getting annoying Bey. Also, please stop blaming your randiness on your alter ego. All I am saying Bey is that you do not have to sell your soul or thighs to make a good music video. Ok, so you are sexy, your curves are fantastically sculptured but get over it already! Although you do look good naked
I was surprised to wake up to Crystal on the Sanyu Breakfast show the other day. Turns out Melanie was not feeling well (they always say that). Anyway, so Crystal bless her, actually hosted a good show! Props to her for doing a mean press review actually breaking down and explaining the implications of the different newspaper items! I thought to myself, that’s just what we need! A brilliant person on morning radio and not just someone that will say ‘hmm’ or ‘oh yeah yeah’ or ‘am like yeah yeah yeah’ or ‘ha ha ha ah’ or’ moving swiftly on, or what else is new’ after they have read the day’s headline. You want to listen to a show that will inspire you, not people who make you feel smarter than you actually are. Kudos Crystal.
A friend of mine was joking (?) the other day that the only thing they say with conviction on the Sanyu breakfast show in when they are announcing the day’s special people.
Blame it on the weatherman
The President wore his best ‘pained expression’ as he looked around at all the stick thin people around him. “My fellow Africans and indeed good citizens of Somalia; it is unfortunate that this famine is threatening to wipe all of you out. Unfortunate because back home in Uganda, the fields are flourishing…”
“No Mr. President” whispered his most trusted aide who was by now perspiring in shame. “We are actually in Teso. It is a district in Uganda mind you…” at which point the president amended his speech and cut and paste the word Teso where previously was Somalia.
It has been a while since Uganda got associated with severe famine. Sure biting poverty does still rage on but an actual calamity where famine was killing off people like an epidemic has been out of the news for a while.
The famine in Eastern Uganda, Teso to be exact, which has claimed about 35 lives, has taken many of us by surprise. Some of us even first heard of it during the momentary gasps for air as we took a break from stuffing our already bulging stomachs. It is sad and we should be ashamed.
But not as ashamed as Andrew Bageire, Minister of State for Agriculture, and Tarsis Kabwegere, Minister of Relief and Disaster Preparedness who tried to water down this fiasco; Bageire by saying that the people of Teso were paying this heavy price for being lazy spending most of their time drinking ajon (local brew) instead of growing and stockpiling food and Kabwegere by insisting on describing it as a “food shortage” but not famine. (source; Observer)
Bageire also implied that their (Itesot) otherwise avoidable situation was compounded by the unpredictable weather changes because his ministry last month released sh910m to the Teso region for planting materials. His boss the President picked up on this and tried to ride on this as well going a step further to blame the Entebbe meteorological centre. Apparently these guys did not predict the drought. So then he called the guy at the weather center
“Hello? Yea. So then you are the manager of the weather station? ”
"Yes. We expect light showers around the lake Victoria region with sunshine expected at the source of the Nile. The rest of the country will be relatively…"
“Listen to me. I am the president calling. How come you did not predict sunshine and drought in Teso? Now my ministers are here looking foolish…”
"Is that true Mister President? How weird! Only last year there were floods. I never thought that all that water would have dried out by now. “
All this nonsense has not gone down well with the area MPs especially the females who walked out of parliament in protest over the insensitivity of the likes of Bageire and Kabwegere (read men) in reacting to this disaster. Tears rolled down the cheeks of two female MPs Rose Akol [Bukedea] and Akiror Agnes Egunyu [Kumi] in what was a grieving demonstration of the emotional toll of the famine. (SOurce; Daily Monitor)
Some industrious person was seen collecting those tears to go and try to produce food and water from it.
Only last night at 8:00pm in a posh house in Kololo, a frustrated mother is trying to force feed beef to his son who just had a chicken sandwich for an evening snack with a gold spoon. In Teso, a starved rainmaker can be heard over the cries for food asking for five kilos of meat before he can summon the rains.
Note; the writer has done absolutely nothing towards contributing to the famine victims. There is a Help famine victims corner at Garden City that I intend to make good use of after beating myself up in shame.
“No Mr. President” whispered his most trusted aide who was by now perspiring in shame. “We are actually in Teso. It is a district in Uganda mind you…” at which point the president amended his speech and cut and paste the word Teso where previously was Somalia.
It has been a while since Uganda got associated with severe famine. Sure biting poverty does still rage on but an actual calamity where famine was killing off people like an epidemic has been out of the news for a while.
The famine in Eastern Uganda, Teso to be exact, which has claimed about 35 lives, has taken many of us by surprise. Some of us even first heard of it during the momentary gasps for air as we took a break from stuffing our already bulging stomachs. It is sad and we should be ashamed.
But not as ashamed as Andrew Bageire, Minister of State for Agriculture, and Tarsis Kabwegere, Minister of Relief and Disaster Preparedness who tried to water down this fiasco; Bageire by saying that the people of Teso were paying this heavy price for being lazy spending most of their time drinking ajon (local brew) instead of growing and stockpiling food and Kabwegere by insisting on describing it as a “food shortage” but not famine. (source; Observer)
Bageire also implied that their (Itesot) otherwise avoidable situation was compounded by the unpredictable weather changes because his ministry last month released sh910m to the Teso region for planting materials. His boss the President picked up on this and tried to ride on this as well going a step further to blame the Entebbe meteorological centre. Apparently these guys did not predict the drought. So then he called the guy at the weather center
“Hello? Yea. So then you are the manager of the weather station? ”
"Yes. We expect light showers around the lake Victoria region with sunshine expected at the source of the Nile. The rest of the country will be relatively…"
“Listen to me. I am the president calling. How come you did not predict sunshine and drought in Teso? Now my ministers are here looking foolish…”
"Is that true Mister President? How weird! Only last year there were floods. I never thought that all that water would have dried out by now. “
All this nonsense has not gone down well with the area MPs especially the females who walked out of parliament in protest over the insensitivity of the likes of Bageire and Kabwegere (read men) in reacting to this disaster. Tears rolled down the cheeks of two female MPs Rose Akol [Bukedea] and Akiror Agnes Egunyu [Kumi] in what was a grieving demonstration of the emotional toll of the famine. (SOurce; Daily Monitor)
Some industrious person was seen collecting those tears to go and try to produce food and water from it.
Only last night at 8:00pm in a posh house in Kololo, a frustrated mother is trying to force feed beef to his son who just had a chicken sandwich for an evening snack with a gold spoon. In Teso, a starved rainmaker can be heard over the cries for food asking for five kilos of meat before he can summon the rains.
Note; the writer has done absolutely nothing towards contributing to the famine victims. There is a Help famine victims corner at Garden City that I intend to make good use of after beating myself up in shame.
Get thee behind me Set Anne;
It had taken all my resolve not to write this one but shit, I realized that my resolve was best suited in other more important tasks. So I have sent my resolve on an errand to go and figure out a way to not kill my boss.
Life throws you lemons, you make lemonade but they never quite tell you from whence to get the sugar and the water. Life throws a negative person at you, it just never equips you with the weapons to finish them off without being caught. And so, miss thing still lives. Why do I want to kill her? Because she is too damn negative she would suck the green out of any cactus plant. She has just about sucked the life out of me!
I shall start at the beginning. The first time I ever interacted with Miss Thing as we shall refer to my subject, please feel free to insert name of choice- Anyway, so Miss Thing and I first interacted at a social gathering, and within minutes had realized that her favorite subject was herself so I gave up trying to bring up my new cookery class. My boyfriend joined us shortly and in the next five words, she had managed to insult him. How does she do that? Now, it was all I could do not to flex my Mukiga muscles and throw a punch her way. But then I figured, she has known him longer maybe that is exactly the way they relate. I mean, what she had said might have in fact been true, so who was I to fight boyfie’s battles?
That was the day I decided I was going to try not be around Miss Thing. Not that life was going to sit around and let that happen!
Later, life saw to it that Miss Thing and I were thrown at the same place at the same time. That day, I was rocking my new silver bra feeling all rich and shit, what with me wearing minerals as support for my hooters. So she says to me;
“Hi, why are you wearing a silver bra?”
And I thought; slap her, bitch slap her, or slap the shit out of that stick she has on high up her butt?
Instead, I must have smiled and made a lame excuse about how gold prices had gone high so all I could afford was the lesser mineral.
Two weeks ago, I had the displeasure of meeting with watsherface Miss Thing. After sharing an unexpected hug, she says,
“HI. What is wrong with your hair? Don’t you have a comb?”
And there she was again. Why must she spoil it for everybody? Miss thing, everything is not always perfect because you say so. It is most definitely not your duty to point out the flaws in other people to their faces, especially if they are not your friends. You just do not have the right. Also, try find something positive to say even if the story is not featuring you. But if you must know Miss Thing, I have 7 combs, each a different shade and er, feel. I comb my hair once a day and it is not my fault it does not always stay in place.
I also should have bitch slapped you. Sassed you. Or rebuked you. Instead I smiled and said something in response to your frigging, annoying intrusive query. I am polite that way.
You are killing me Miss!
Life throws you lemons, you make lemonade but they never quite tell you from whence to get the sugar and the water. Life throws a negative person at you, it just never equips you with the weapons to finish them off without being caught. And so, miss thing still lives. Why do I want to kill her? Because she is too damn negative she would suck the green out of any cactus plant. She has just about sucked the life out of me!
I shall start at the beginning. The first time I ever interacted with Miss Thing as we shall refer to my subject, please feel free to insert name of choice- Anyway, so Miss Thing and I first interacted at a social gathering, and within minutes had realized that her favorite subject was herself so I gave up trying to bring up my new cookery class. My boyfriend joined us shortly and in the next five words, she had managed to insult him. How does she do that? Now, it was all I could do not to flex my Mukiga muscles and throw a punch her way. But then I figured, she has known him longer maybe that is exactly the way they relate. I mean, what she had said might have in fact been true, so who was I to fight boyfie’s battles?
That was the day I decided I was going to try not be around Miss Thing. Not that life was going to sit around and let that happen!
Later, life saw to it that Miss Thing and I were thrown at the same place at the same time. That day, I was rocking my new silver bra feeling all rich and shit, what with me wearing minerals as support for my hooters. So she says to me;
“Hi, why are you wearing a silver bra?”
And I thought; slap her, bitch slap her, or slap the shit out of that stick she has on high up her butt?
Instead, I must have smiled and made a lame excuse about how gold prices had gone high so all I could afford was the lesser mineral.
Two weeks ago, I had the displeasure of meeting with watsherface Miss Thing. After sharing an unexpected hug, she says,
“HI. What is wrong with your hair? Don’t you have a comb?”
And there she was again. Why must she spoil it for everybody? Miss thing, everything is not always perfect because you say so. It is most definitely not your duty to point out the flaws in other people to their faces, especially if they are not your friends. You just do not have the right. Also, try find something positive to say even if the story is not featuring you. But if you must know Miss Thing, I have 7 combs, each a different shade and er, feel. I comb my hair once a day and it is not my fault it does not always stay in place.
I also should have bitch slapped you. Sassed you. Or rebuked you. Instead I smiled and said something in response to your frigging, annoying intrusive query. I am polite that way.
You are killing me Miss!
BHH, BHH snobbing, Bloggers snobbing BHH, Snobbery amongst bloggers, snobbery in general, one muzungu and a rasta
That pretty much sums up what happened at BHH yesterday.You people, why are u all friggin snobbing BHH? Rebbecca mus be turning in her grave seeing all of you stuck up snobs snubbing her show. Whooooops! Somebody just whispered that Rebecca is indeed still very much alive and can I please stop writing people’s Orbits before doing my research. Well anyway, the thing is that the turn up at BHH gets appalling by the month.
The show’s supposed to start at 6pm but when I arrived at 8pm to make my grand entrance, I was shocked to find that I would be on the welcoming committee instead with Ivan, Daniel and good ol Erique looking every bit the mean person he truly is. Nuh, on the real tho, that angelic smile he wears makes you almost want to be friends with him.
Anyway, as is always the case when a newbie meets me, shock and awe emotions were emitted yesterday. According to Daniel, of streetsyder Antipop was not at all what he expected!
"I expected somebody beautiful”
At which point I said, huh? Wondering whether I had indeed heard correctly. Then he made amends thus
"You know, I thought she’d look like what she writes like. You know, tall, slender, hot, stylish…"
I was torn between burying my head in shame and well, burying my whole body in shame. He seemed like a nice fellow though
Ivan stole my money. Even Dante. But Dante gave it back, Ivan donated some of it to a street child which might have been a sweet gesture had he not robbed from me.
The Muzungu and Rev joined us later and the rest of my evening was spent chatting to and trying to understand what Detamble the muzungu in question was really saying. It is tough being an African I tell ya.
I hear Solomon King dropped by. And sleek. I would like to say they were fun and smart and etc but I lost my mojo for telling lies. Must be those honest scrap thingies going around.
Dusk was a pleasant sight when she waltzed in towering over me in her fancy heels and all making me feel short even when I know better. Was lovely seeing you girl.
What happened to the rest of y’all? Why are u guys constantly absconding from BHH? Anybody has any ideas on how we can get the numbers up? Prizes maybe?
The show’s supposed to start at 6pm but when I arrived at 8pm to make my grand entrance, I was shocked to find that I would be on the welcoming committee instead with Ivan, Daniel and good ol Erique looking every bit the mean person he truly is. Nuh, on the real tho, that angelic smile he wears makes you almost want to be friends with him.
Anyway, as is always the case when a newbie meets me, shock and awe emotions were emitted yesterday. According to Daniel, of streetsyder Antipop was not at all what he expected!
"I expected somebody beautiful”
At which point I said, huh? Wondering whether I had indeed heard correctly. Then he made amends thus
"You know, I thought she’d look like what she writes like. You know, tall, slender, hot, stylish…"
I was torn between burying my head in shame and well, burying my whole body in shame. He seemed like a nice fellow though
Ivan stole my money. Even Dante. But Dante gave it back, Ivan donated some of it to a street child which might have been a sweet gesture had he not robbed from me.
The Muzungu and Rev joined us later and the rest of my evening was spent chatting to and trying to understand what Detamble the muzungu in question was really saying. It is tough being an African I tell ya.
I hear Solomon King dropped by. And sleek. I would like to say they were fun and smart and etc but I lost my mojo for telling lies. Must be those honest scrap thingies going around.
Dusk was a pleasant sight when she waltzed in towering over me in her fancy heels and all making me feel short even when I know better. Was lovely seeing you girl.
What happened to the rest of y’all? Why are u guys constantly absconding from BHH? Anybody has any ideas on how we can get the numbers up? Prizes maybe?
So this Erique thing
So anyway, after Erique and the internet babe had been chatting incessantly on the internets, he decided he could not wait to meet with her, and asked her out on a lunch date. On the day of the date, Erique dressed to impress and our Paparazzi was there to get the shots.
The place where Erique directed internet babe to find him for the lunch date.
Erique striking his best 50cent pose for our snappers in a bid to impress D no end
That is Erique looking nervous not quite sure what to say now he has met internet babe
Erique excusing himself to go before he pees his pants on realising that internet babe is actually hotter than in his wildest dreams. And he does have wild dreams. Behind him is our other snoop who has been masquerading as a receptionist at Erique's workplace for the duration of this assignment. She reported that she had never seen Erique as jittery as he has been lately.
Right after the romantic lunch that was made up of Kikomando and mineral water in Kaveera for kikumi. As you can see in that picture, he can't wait to wrap up the interview to go and relieve Kikomando logged intestines.
And this is internet babe
We wish Erique all the happiness in his impending nuptials. Over to you Erique
The place where Erique directed internet babe to find him for the lunch date.
Erique striking his best 50cent pose for our snappers in a bid to impress D no end
That is Erique looking nervous not quite sure what to say now he has met internet babe
Erique excusing himself to go before he pees his pants on realising that internet babe is actually hotter than in his wildest dreams. And he does have wild dreams. Behind him is our other snoop who has been masquerading as a receptionist at Erique's workplace for the duration of this assignment. She reported that she had never seen Erique as jittery as he has been lately.
Right after the romantic lunch that was made up of Kikomando and mineral water in Kaveera for kikumi. As you can see in that picture, he can't wait to wrap up the interview to go and relieve Kikomando logged intestines.
And this is internet babeWe wish Erique all the happiness in his impending nuptials. Over to you Erique
Erique hooks internet babe
Erique hooks internet babe
News reaching our desk is that Erique (of rentedmess) has been cavorting with a hot internet chic only identified as D. The lady in question has even changed er Facebook Relationship status from "Its complicated" to "Over the moon, I have finally found somebody to marry me."
We hear an internet bun is already in the oven and that Erique is a mess over the usually joyful news. We wish their cyber marriage nothing but the best
Keep your eyes open for more juicy revelations
This news comes courtesy of Your friends at Tabloid.com
News reaching our desk is that Erique (of rentedmess) has been cavorting with a hot internet chic only identified as D. The lady in question has even changed er Facebook Relationship status from "Its complicated" to "Over the moon, I have finally found somebody to marry me."
We hear an internet bun is already in the oven and that Erique is a mess over the usually joyful news. We wish their cyber marriage nothing but the best
Keep your eyes open for more juicy revelations
This news comes courtesy of Your friends at Tabloid.com
Museveni retains IGG Mwonda
When Justice Faith Mwondha was growing up, she never dreamed that she would be IGG. Not even when she was filling those career guidance forms at A’level. Now that she thinks about it, she should never have circled those chemistry objective type questions using the pinky pinky ponky method. Maybe then she would have been an aging chemist holed up in a food factory somewhere being majorly ignored by the world.
Mwonda is coming under attack by The Parliamentary Appointments Committee for failing to appear before them for scrutiny. You see, Ms Mwonda snubbed a scheduled appearance before Parliaments Appointments Committee on April 1st 2009 and who can blame her? She had received those summons while watching her favorite show on MTV (Yea. That second salary she had been earning from the Justice sector had come in handy when she had wanted that DSTV dish). And then it hit her. April 1st? Isn’t that fools day? She thought as she consulted her calendar to find that indeed if she risked going to parliament, instead of a vetting committee, she would be accosted by Ashton Kutcher and his film Crew. That boy Ashton can be humorless sometimes!
If today’s Daily Monitor is to be believed then Mwondha can sleep well tonight assured that indeed she did the right thing to opt for a career of toying with people’s feelings than toying with the Bunsen banner. But you cannot always believe Monitor. It is responsible for Besigye’s unwavering hope.
Those who do not know what I am talking about, apparently the President has reappointed Mwondha IGG, even if his trusted MPs did not think it was the right thing to do. But what do they know? They have no vision. Of course this appointment does not go down well with the speaker Edward Ssekandi who had already started organizing her farewell party. Her and her staff. The invitation card to the IGG staff read;
You are cordially invited to your surprise farewell party…
“We are leaving? I didn’t know that! “
“That is the surprise…”
Sekandi is already on his way to Nkurumah Road to cancel the order for the cards.
This procedes events of the past month where the Parliamentary vetting committee, made up of NRM stooges reasoned that one of them a one Mwondha was not fit for the position of IGG I bet on grounds that she had been responsible for sending their other colleagues to jail. Mwondha in her term of office has seen three NRM ministers Jim Muwhezi, Mike Mukula and Dr. Alex Kamugisha dropped from the cabinet and prosecuted over corruption. Even if the most that came out of this was that they spent a few uncomfortable nights in jail.
With her dismissal, the ministers were already envisioning bigger salaries and inflated allowances, while the rest of them were not listening to this debate and were updating their Facebook status on their new Black Berries.
Not that Mwondha was in any way moved by these threats. The outspoken woman said she would not quit unless she was ordered to do so by President Museveni or God. Remind me to ask her some time whether God does really have that long white Beard. Are there really no shavers in heaven??
Meanwhile Mwondha’s deputy Raphael Baku has been sent on leave until further notice. Somebody had to pay the price.
PS. In this story, Daily Monitor Keeps quoting “Highly placed sources who did not want to be named coz of the sensitivity of the matter… “Seriously Monitor has got to find another way of calling its moles.
Mwonda is coming under attack by The Parliamentary Appointments Committee for failing to appear before them for scrutiny. You see, Ms Mwonda snubbed a scheduled appearance before Parliaments Appointments Committee on April 1st 2009 and who can blame her? She had received those summons while watching her favorite show on MTV (Yea. That second salary she had been earning from the Justice sector had come in handy when she had wanted that DSTV dish). And then it hit her. April 1st? Isn’t that fools day? She thought as she consulted her calendar to find that indeed if she risked going to parliament, instead of a vetting committee, she would be accosted by Ashton Kutcher and his film Crew. That boy Ashton can be humorless sometimes!
If today’s Daily Monitor is to be believed then Mwondha can sleep well tonight assured that indeed she did the right thing to opt for a career of toying with people’s feelings than toying with the Bunsen banner. But you cannot always believe Monitor. It is responsible for Besigye’s unwavering hope.
Those who do not know what I am talking about, apparently the President has reappointed Mwondha IGG, even if his trusted MPs did not think it was the right thing to do. But what do they know? They have no vision. Of course this appointment does not go down well with the speaker Edward Ssekandi who had already started organizing her farewell party. Her and her staff. The invitation card to the IGG staff read;
You are cordially invited to your surprise farewell party…
“We are leaving? I didn’t know that! “
“That is the surprise…”
Sekandi is already on his way to Nkurumah Road to cancel the order for the cards.
This procedes events of the past month where the Parliamentary vetting committee, made up of NRM stooges reasoned that one of them a one Mwondha was not fit for the position of IGG I bet on grounds that she had been responsible for sending their other colleagues to jail. Mwondha in her term of office has seen three NRM ministers Jim Muwhezi, Mike Mukula and Dr. Alex Kamugisha dropped from the cabinet and prosecuted over corruption. Even if the most that came out of this was that they spent a few uncomfortable nights in jail.
With her dismissal, the ministers were already envisioning bigger salaries and inflated allowances, while the rest of them were not listening to this debate and were updating their Facebook status on their new Black Berries.
Not that Mwondha was in any way moved by these threats. The outspoken woman said she would not quit unless she was ordered to do so by President Museveni or God. Remind me to ask her some time whether God does really have that long white Beard. Are there really no shavers in heaven??
Meanwhile Mwondha’s deputy Raphael Baku has been sent on leave until further notice. Somebody had to pay the price.
PS. In this story, Daily Monitor Keeps quoting “Highly placed sources who did not want to be named coz of the sensitivity of the matter… “Seriously Monitor has got to find another way of calling its moles.
Use medicines sparingly
That shocking headline in the Daily Monitor yesterday stopped Ms Amy Winehouse in her tracks as she was about to sniff a line of cocaine. She split it into 3 neat lines for breakfast, lunch and supper. She had been meaning to cut down anyway. Dr. House did not bother with the details of the story as he set about finding more cunning ways of sneaking more Vicodine out of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital without Cuddy noticing.
The truth is though, those two people could not be bothered because The director General of Health services in Uganda Dr. Sam Zaramba has urged Ugandans to use available medicines sparingly to save the country from a possible drug hitch. According to him, the Country has been experiencing a shortage of anti Tuberculosis drugs. This has forced Uganda to borrow drugs from neighboring Kenya . I can see how this one played out;
Hello Mr. Kamau? It is me Sam. How are you at this juncture and how is Nyambura? Glad to hear u guys finally managed to cross the River between. We were all holding our breaths for you…
Now, do you think you can get us some few panadols? You see Mama Musoke and the baby girl are with Malaria. And I suspect you have also heard about Museveni’s finger. So we could use all the Panadol you can lay your hands on. Scratch that. Just send over one dosage and we shall split it equally between the three just fine. Right. Right. Uh huh, uh huh, Yea, Mrs. Kibaki won’t let you? Okay then. Glad we caught up. Gotta go. I have Mr. Nyerere on the other line now…
Meanwhile mother of three in Sembabule whose eldest child is about to swallow medicine suddenly screams out; I warn you junior. Stop arguing with me. From today on it is 2x2, then at night we can always just put a damp cloth on your forehead to make up for the other 2 tabs. You see, we are trying to save the rest for when Joan gets ill, okay?
But let us get to the big picture here. Large men in their large jackets and briefcases are stealing money that is meant to buy enough drugs to sustain the country for a period of time, and yet they roam the streets in their expensive cars while we sit and watch helplessly.
Dr Zaramba says the shortage is due to delays within the Global Fund in Geneva to remit funds. And who can blame those guys in Geneva? Last year, then minister of health Jim Muwhezi, his deputy Mike Mukula and Alex Kamugisha were charged with embezzlement and misuse of up to $1.63 million(and counting) from a gift of $3.86 million to the Health Ministry from the Global Alliance for Vaccines and Immunization.
Teddy Ssezi Cheeye, the director of economic affairs at the Internal Security Organization, was recently arrested and charged with embezzlement of Shs120 million worth of Global Fund money. If a dose of anti-malarials is about Shs. 12,000-14,000, you do the maths.
While these four go to sleep in luxury security fenced mansions where mosquitoes and disease causing germs and viruses are electrocuted at the wire fence to ensure that they do not need drugs, children in the North get infected with Polio.
In another part of the world, Pink does not agree that pills are all that important anyway. See, according to her, they keep making her ill. When the drugs are finished good, I guess that’s the message Dr Sam will be putting out to the public. Pills are bad. Instead of making you better, they keep making you ill. You heard?
The truth is though, those two people could not be bothered because The director General of Health services in Uganda Dr. Sam Zaramba has urged Ugandans to use available medicines sparingly to save the country from a possible drug hitch. According to him, the Country has been experiencing a shortage of anti Tuberculosis drugs. This has forced Uganda to borrow drugs from neighboring Kenya . I can see how this one played out;
Hello Mr. Kamau? It is me Sam. How are you at this juncture and how is Nyambura? Glad to hear u guys finally managed to cross the River between. We were all holding our breaths for you…
Now, do you think you can get us some few panadols? You see Mama Musoke and the baby girl are with Malaria. And I suspect you have also heard about Museveni’s finger. So we could use all the Panadol you can lay your hands on. Scratch that. Just send over one dosage and we shall split it equally between the three just fine. Right. Right. Uh huh, uh huh, Yea, Mrs. Kibaki won’t let you? Okay then. Glad we caught up. Gotta go. I have Mr. Nyerere on the other line now…
Meanwhile mother of three in Sembabule whose eldest child is about to swallow medicine suddenly screams out; I warn you junior. Stop arguing with me. From today on it is 2x2, then at night we can always just put a damp cloth on your forehead to make up for the other 2 tabs. You see, we are trying to save the rest for when Joan gets ill, okay?
But let us get to the big picture here. Large men in their large jackets and briefcases are stealing money that is meant to buy enough drugs to sustain the country for a period of time, and yet they roam the streets in their expensive cars while we sit and watch helplessly.
Dr Zaramba says the shortage is due to delays within the Global Fund in Geneva to remit funds. And who can blame those guys in Geneva? Last year, then minister of health Jim Muwhezi, his deputy Mike Mukula and Alex Kamugisha were charged with embezzlement and misuse of up to $1.63 million(and counting) from a gift of $3.86 million to the Health Ministry from the Global Alliance for Vaccines and Immunization.
Teddy Ssezi Cheeye, the director of economic affairs at the Internal Security Organization, was recently arrested and charged with embezzlement of Shs120 million worth of Global Fund money. If a dose of anti-malarials is about Shs. 12,000-14,000, you do the maths.
While these four go to sleep in luxury security fenced mansions where mosquitoes and disease causing germs and viruses are electrocuted at the wire fence to ensure that they do not need drugs, children in the North get infected with Polio.
In another part of the world, Pink does not agree that pills are all that important anyway. See, according to her, they keep making her ill. When the drugs are finished good, I guess that’s the message Dr Sam will be putting out to the public. Pills are bad. Instead of making you better, they keep making you ill. You heard?