Get thee behind me Set Anne;
It had taken all my resolve not to write this one but shit, I realized that my resolve was best suited in other more important tasks. So I have sent my resolve on an errand to go and figure out a way to not kill my boss.
Life throws you lemons, you make lemonade but they never quite tell you from whence to get the sugar and the water. Life throws a negative person at you, it just never equips you with the weapons to finish them off without being caught. And so, miss thing still lives. Why do I want to kill her? Because she is too damn negative she would suck the green out of any cactus plant. She has just about sucked the life out of me!
I shall start at the beginning. The first time I ever interacted with Miss Thing as we shall refer to my subject, please feel free to insert name of choice- Anyway, so Miss Thing and I first interacted at a social gathering, and within minutes had realized that her favorite subject was herself so I gave up trying to bring up my new cookery class. My boyfriend joined us shortly and in the next five words, she had managed to insult him. How does she do that? Now, it was all I could do not to flex my Mukiga muscles and throw a punch her way. But then I figured, she has known him longer maybe that is exactly the way they relate. I mean, what she had said might have in fact been true, so who was I to fight boyfie’s battles?
That was the day I decided I was going to try not be around Miss Thing. Not that life was going to sit around and let that happen!
Later, life saw to it that Miss Thing and I were thrown at the same place at the same time. That day, I was rocking my new silver bra feeling all rich and shit, what with me wearing minerals as support for my hooters. So she says to me;
“Hi, why are you wearing a silver bra?”
And I thought; slap her, bitch slap her, or slap the shit out of that stick she has on high up her butt?
Instead, I must have smiled and made a lame excuse about how gold prices had gone high so all I could afford was the lesser mineral.
Two weeks ago, I had the displeasure of meeting with watsherface Miss Thing. After sharing an unexpected hug, she says,
“HI. What is wrong with your hair? Don’t you have a comb?”
And there she was again. Why must she spoil it for everybody? Miss thing, everything is not always perfect because you say so. It is most definitely not your duty to point out the flaws in other people to their faces, especially if they are not your friends. You just do not have the right. Also, try find something positive to say even if the story is not featuring you. But if you must know Miss Thing, I have 7 combs, each a different shade and er, feel. I comb my hair once a day and it is not my fault it does not always stay in place.
I also should have bitch slapped you. Sassed you. Or rebuked you. Instead I smiled and said something in response to your frigging, annoying intrusive query. I am polite that way.
You are killing me Miss!
Life throws you lemons, you make lemonade but they never quite tell you from whence to get the sugar and the water. Life throws a negative person at you, it just never equips you with the weapons to finish them off without being caught. And so, miss thing still lives. Why do I want to kill her? Because she is too damn negative she would suck the green out of any cactus plant. She has just about sucked the life out of me!
I shall start at the beginning. The first time I ever interacted with Miss Thing as we shall refer to my subject, please feel free to insert name of choice- Anyway, so Miss Thing and I first interacted at a social gathering, and within minutes had realized that her favorite subject was herself so I gave up trying to bring up my new cookery class. My boyfriend joined us shortly and in the next five words, she had managed to insult him. How does she do that? Now, it was all I could do not to flex my Mukiga muscles and throw a punch her way. But then I figured, she has known him longer maybe that is exactly the way they relate. I mean, what she had said might have in fact been true, so who was I to fight boyfie’s battles?
That was the day I decided I was going to try not be around Miss Thing. Not that life was going to sit around and let that happen!
Later, life saw to it that Miss Thing and I were thrown at the same place at the same time. That day, I was rocking my new silver bra feeling all rich and shit, what with me wearing minerals as support for my hooters. So she says to me;
“Hi, why are you wearing a silver bra?”
And I thought; slap her, bitch slap her, or slap the shit out of that stick she has on high up her butt?
Instead, I must have smiled and made a lame excuse about how gold prices had gone high so all I could afford was the lesser mineral.
Two weeks ago, I had the displeasure of meeting with watsherface Miss Thing. After sharing an unexpected hug, she says,
“HI. What is wrong with your hair? Don’t you have a comb?”
And there she was again. Why must she spoil it for everybody? Miss thing, everything is not always perfect because you say so. It is most definitely not your duty to point out the flaws in other people to their faces, especially if they are not your friends. You just do not have the right. Also, try find something positive to say even if the story is not featuring you. But if you must know Miss Thing, I have 7 combs, each a different shade and er, feel. I comb my hair once a day and it is not my fault it does not always stay in place.
I also should have bitch slapped you. Sassed you. Or rebuked you. Instead I smiled and said something in response to your frigging, annoying intrusive query. I am polite that way.
You are killing me Miss!
