If you are waiting for this tea…

There were times in years past when I read at least two books in one week. Those were the days when I showered once (very hastily) a day, binged on coffee, bread and bisquits, hardly brushed my teeth, my hair and earned zero money. But I was happy. That era faded to Lord knows where. I still like to read; only I never get around to finishing an entire book in one year.

I get bored easily, so I find I am beginning new books before I have even turned to page 2 of the one I bought (read borrowed) last. Which is why I am currently in the middle of reading 5 books, some that I don’t even remember the title. But this post is about tea. I found this from one of the books I am reading

“…Jim’s tea making routine was a triumph of day dreaming inefficiency.
First he would take the mugs from the cupboard and arrange them on a
tray. Then he would stop near the sink and look a little lost for a while as
tried to remember what it was that he had been meaning to do. Then it would
come back to him: get the milk out of the fridge. After the milk had been
poured into each cup, he would get the tea bags and put them into the teapot.
And then, when he had done all that, when he had got everything ready and
realized he’d got out one mug too many and so put it back in the cupboard,
and then put the sugar bowl on the tray and decided that there was nothing
else he had to do, then he would put the kettle on.”

Stole from “the best a man can get”- John O’farrell

if my shoes could talk

They would have two tales
Of a shy timid girl
Whose confidence has been ripped to shreds
By those who say she cant, she couldn’t
My new black heels would say, your feet are too small

They would tell
Of the tough brave confident girl
That puts up a front so deceitful
Even to those who think they can rip her apart
Yes, my sister’s cream shoes would say, your feet are too big

They would say to me,
Wipe that tear off my well-tanned leather
That tear won’t bring him back; it won’t bring them all back
So wipe the tears from your face, I am turning all soggy here
Is what my brown shoes would say.

They would rant,
Why do you never take me to church?
Why do you never come with me to visit the sick?
Why don’t you wear me oft to visit the homeless?
The blue salsa shoes would ask, why do you wear me at all?

They would roar with laughter
When I sing and pretend I am a diva
When I start to dance so lame
They would tell me to stop the madness, to stop embarrassing them
My brown suede boots would.

My shoes would tell you this
Because they were down there the whole while
Watching it all unfold from up above
If only they could talk,
My red sneakers would say, how you have loved me so.

Disclaimer; I have never ever claimed I was a poet.

When he asks to borrow money

Now love makes people do some pretty stupid stuff. One of them is to lend your loser boyfriend money. When a guy comes to you and says, “Hey can I borrow some 10k?” I don’t care how hot, cute or romantic he is, just run. Well, this one time, I did not run.

I had just begun seeing this guy who everyone seemed to think was a loser when one afternoon I was coming back from lectures rattling some coins in my hand. He meets me at the hostel gate all sweet and milky, offers to carry my books to my room and right at the door, says bye and as a by-the-way, asks me to give him the coins as he had no change.

I stupidly obliged and that is the day I got trapped into his web of paying for his meals, clearing his debts- some hefty-, buying him and his friends drinks, supporting his smoking vice and lending him larger sums of money. Even when he raided my piggy bank (yes I still have a piggy bank) several times I still did not run.

I talk about this because some guy I met recently asked me to buy fuel for his car. I ran from the loser. Well, after buying the fuel. But I ran. Can I hear an amen?

the other loser

Now this one I have some fondness for. It is for that reason that I do the let him go, take him back, let him go, take him back again sequence. The same reason I took him back mid last year. That and the fact that we go for cheap pizza together, especially on the Tuesday special, where you buy one and get 1 free.

So despite all his promises to change, and be like “all the other boys,” he has still failed the ultimate test. He has never told me “I love you.” Now if you are a girl, you will understand just how important these words are. In fact, it should be considered patriotic duty for guys to say those words and mean them.

So loser here, thinks that he’s selling himself short, and he will not be like the other guys. So he comes to my place, stays forever, calls me, comes to see me at work, and from that, he expects for me to pick the words. Once I complained that he was not treating me right. To which he replied,

“D, one day, I will come to your place, you will open the door, I will hug you and in one hand I will be carrying a box of chocolates, a card and from the other I will bring out flowers. And then I will go and shoot myself.”

Update on my losers

Loser #1
Date: Monday night
Venue: national theatre
Hanging out with: some very dark girl and a very short loser
Status: curfew got me, so have to go back home with loser
Ps; have done this twice before
Get to his home with only one thing on my mind- rest my alcohol-ridden ass. But loser #1 has other things on his mind. I gently turn him down, push to the furthest corner of his bed and snore. Gets the hint, backs off. Wake up next morning with a very strange, warm object* poking my back, turns out, loser’s flashing his object my way.

He likes to do this a lot. He must really be proud of his object, coz he is always flushing it in my face, walking around naked, arms akimbo, as if to say, “and all this, could be yours”. I find this very strange, but I don’t blame him, it is the only tall thing he has to show for himself. I just wish he would put that obnoxious thing away and let me sleep. He won’t. So I get up, take a bath and go home.

object-anything that is visible or tangible and is relatively stable in form.

i am on a roll

When I was in my first year at university, I got so many guys wanting to go out with me, so I complained to my brother one afternoon and he warned me thus; “hey D, you best use this opportunity as much as you can, because when you are in 3rd year, you will be begging boys to even say hi to you. ” of course I laughed in his face, reminded him that our ancestors were of a rare breed and hence I would still look attractive 3 years later.

Boy was I wrong! By the end of 3rd year, I was friends with the male toilet cleaners, the rolex (not watches) guy from across my hostel, the hostel van driver, and the bodaboda guys. My hay days were over.

Two years out of school and my luck is returning. There is a host of boys asking me out again. I am not running to my brother for advice, am afraid the old cynic will hint that since I am almost graying, I should jump at the first opportunity to get knocked up by one of them and settle for nothing less than a ring on my finger.

So here I am. Torn between one loser from the other, yet afraid to be without any loser friends. And I am asking you, how do I drop all the losers and be happy just being old and tired?

my hate speech

For the whole month I am going to meet people who will wish me a happy new year. There is 2 things wrong with that.
1.that last year the same people wished me a ‘happy new year’ but look how it turned out. What makes them think this one is going to be any better?
2. There is nothing new about this year. It is the 4th for crying out loud. When will the year’s newness end? So the whole month when am smiling, nodding and answering “same to you” to new years wishes, all I really want to do is kick the bearers

Melanie the radio presenter still did not get fired this month. Sadly she is still as dumb this year. About the current fuel crisis, this is what she said, “the price of diesel is high as opposed to the price of fuel which is low”. Another year to remind me that my radio station could not care less about my well-being.

It is the month for making resolutions you know you will not even attempt to fulfill. And what is wrong with people? Always asking what my resolutions are? They are mine okay. Also, it is the month I have to remember that I did not achieve any of the resolutions I set out to achieve last year. Not even the one about making my bed at least once a week.

that i have become the grass. kibaki and raila fight, and i have to fork out some extra cash for taxi fare.

i hate
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