Not my loser

Lucky is a very sweet gal. She is also my cousin. We used to be very tight. Back then when we were all innocent and na├»ve, we promised each other we would not turn out like our parents who cant stand each other. We would always be close. But her sister and I can’t stand each other, so she is forced to take sides and she chose her sister. Anyway, this is Lucky’s story.

What lucky saw in this loser I will never know. The guy is short, ugly, has bowlegs and is plain local. But heck, who can tell wit matters of the heart? Turns out, she is not the only one that fell for this one. There is a whole trail of gals on loser’s case and in his bed apparently. So despite cheating on her 3 times, she always took him back. It is when she caught him cheating the fourth time that she finally got to her senses and dumped ugly loser.

But that was not all. Last weekend she went over to pick the rest of her stuff from his place and found him at it, which would have been okay, had the guy not been pestering her to take him back again (as if). Okay now the juicy bit. She caught him in bed with another GUY!!!!

The v word

I always refrain from saying this word at all costs. It is hyper rated, hyper stupid and hyper hyped! Valentines day. Thankfully it is over. Now, my beef for the V word is so much more than my raging envy of those that are in love. No. It’s about this one Valentines Day that I went out with this loser. Note to self: seriously, stop calling other people losers
Like most guys I have dated, we had very little in common. Which means we argued every time we went out. I wanted to dance, he didn’t, I knew cool people, he didn’t, I dressed well, he didn’t. So on this day valentines, we go out, have one of those arguments. He wanted to go away, I wanted to stay and party some more. At which point he sat in a corner and sulked and eventually left.

The nerve of the guy. Leaving me in a bar alone. So at 3am, tired of hanging with my super cool friends, I decided to leave. Only my date had left, which means I had no ride. By this time, I was super mad. So I decided to walk and cool it off. Feeling invincible from all that Bond7 I had been binging on all nite, I headed on home alone feeling too cool for school.

I must have still had some wits about me coz on the way I picked up a stone for PROTECTION. I sensed someone following me and increased my pace. Soon after, some foul smelling, shabby teenager grabbed me from behind. Remembering the rock I had picked up, I turned and threw it in his face. He ducked and I watched helplessly as it flew past. I struggled best as I could but he was too strong for me and before I knew it, I had been toppled to the ground. That is when I realized in horror that it was not my possessions he was after.

I never thought I was capable of screaming so loud. I screamed as I kicked and pushed as the boy brought his face closer to mine. I cannot begin to describe the terror that gripped me just then. Just then a taxi approached from a gas station 200m away and the boy ran away. I sat there crying and shaking and finally made my way to wandegeya, found a bar, sat at a counter and ordered for a bottle of Bond7 and sat at the counter crying till morning.

The weird thing is that to this day, I am haunted most by the nauseating smell of my assailant than the senseless thing he almost did to me. Since then, all my valentines days smell really bad.

no limit for this loser

Surely there ought to be a limit to losers. But apparently for some, there is no way of telling just how low they will go in their quest for being the lowest of the low.
Venue: top eatery in town (okay, not really top)
Mode: counter service
Ambience: lots of attractive people surrounding me
Attention span: 99% on waitress behind counter
1% checkin out semi-hot guy from corner of my eye

Semi-hot is obviously checking me out, which makes me a little uncomfortable. I almost tell him he is being rude but I decide to mind my q’s and p’s (I always wanted to say that). I get my food, walk to the nearest table and tear into the chicken like it’s going to fly off my plate if I just ate it slow. But does this put off loser from across my table? No. So he keeps staring, and I keep hogging.

He finishes his meal and walks out. I sigh like, ppphhhhewwww... Finally I can clear off the remaining potatoes without event. I do, wipe my mouth and walk out. Before I know it, semi-hot is approaching me and greeting me and begging.

No. Not for that silly. He is claiming that he is waiting for a friend who seems to have lost his way, could I be kind enough to BEEP him on my phone. Suspicious but not wanting to act rude incase the guy is telling the truth, I ask for his friend’s number to CALL. I don’t think twice about the fact that semi-hot recites the number off head all natural like. The number is going through and I see the phone vibrating from semi-hot’s front pocket! I look at him incensed and the fool is looking at me grinning with satisfaction. I walk away seething.

He never called.

The genesis of chauvism

God said, let there be man, and there was. He said, let there be woman. And there was. Sensible guy he was. World peace has never been any better than when it was just the two of them. Until adam discovered the fruit of life… hence cane and abel. The tally; three men, one woman- imagine poor eve smack in the middle of all that macho crap. The equality battles still rage on.

No wonder poor woman had no say when her sons wanted to produce and multiply with HER
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