being a fanatic

Yesterday was a good day and to prove it, i hav a sore throat.
Okay so i am not your everyday screaming, statistic and odds calculative footaball fan, but i am a fan. i am a fan in a way that i know the hottest players on a team and i am always inclined to the team that has the hottest of the hot. I choose manchester united. and it won some silver ware or other.

Now normally, if the game is not showing on my local tv, i can not be bothered to go looking for it, but not yesterday. it was afterall the season finale, and trophy decider for that matter. so, clad in my tomboy jeans and baggy shirt to hide the breasts, i went to a local bar, paid shs500 to the bouncer at the gate and on i went.

I almost ran back to the safety of my UTV as soon as i entered.turns out, the t-shirt did not do much in the disguise department, so it was clear to all that i was a gal, and it was clear to me that they were all skunky horny losers as they leered and teased and grabbed before i got to a safe spot at the bar.

I sat near this guy who promised me that he was going to be the best boyfriend i had ever known, but cockiness is not what was wrong with this one. He kept farting all the time or when he was not farting, he would open his mouth to talk to me and i would pull away as the hot smelly air hit my face. But even then, the smell of the fart was drowned out by the stench of all else around. boys, water is not the enemy.needless to say, i walked out of there smelling some kind of funk that i can not describe.

But i learnt one thing during the match. That Rio Ferdinand is WELL endowed.

14 loungers burdening me:

The 27th Comrade said...

Eewww.

And you keep going to watch soccer, after seeing that all them people are ... ?

Anyway, I just thank Jah for sparing me the horror of turning out a soccer fan. I'm glad I actually hate soccer.

Tandra said...

those b the reasons u shouldnt hang in bars, babe....

petesmama said...

MANCHESTER UNITED!!!!

Wama you have to get some "atmosphere" as you watch an important soccer tie - that is where the fun is. It is just unfortunate that your atmosphere was mostly fart and pong.

Now let's wait for trophy number 2 on the 24th - you be scouting for better ambience.

anonymous gal said...

didnt watch the match. i read football not watch it.how weird is that. by well endowed u mean???

Carlo said...

soc-who? what's that? is it a sale going on?

31337 said...

heheheeh!! some kind of funk eh? i thought this was a football post? where did hygiene and how well some are hung, or not are.

DeTamble said...

Anti...you need a better hobby! Or a better bar! I can't believe you put up wit that shit just to stare at Rio's package!

Iwaya said...

speechless!

Phoenix said...

Iwaya I agree

buttercookie said...

Yeah Rio is well endowed, but I was watching this Chelsea Liverpool Champs league semi when Ballack took a tumble and fell down. But The slow motionfall was too HOTT!!!

He fell in slow mo and when hisbody touched the grooud, everything body part shook. Including his BRAINS!!!

I was in awe.

-Miss Cheri

antipop said...

now, now miss cheri, dont get carried away...his brains??? but hey, thats exactly the same way ferdinand fell. in slow mo. in a very very sexy slow mo.

Mr. B2B... said...

And then we get harangued for watching the real skillz of footballers,
and also of women on the WTA tennis tour...
like kournikova, when she could actually compete!

@Iwaya
Ditto

Duksey said...

You didn't! eh! I bet the whole time you were looking at Ferds bits

The Dark Knight said...

@cherie, lmao!

not a soccer fan, so... moving on...

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