Museveni update; Europeans and Chinese don’t die, his bathtub does not get cleaned up and will Bishops please stop consoling people?

In a rare show of transparency, Museveni has s decided to open up about some of the things that rile him.

Now, we would have all appreciated it more if he had told us exactly how many more years he intends to rule for, or why he appointed Janet Minister, and does she really own Garden City? How much money does he have on his bank account etc, but I guess anything he decides to unleash, we will be more than happy to hear.

At the burial of V.P’s son (RIP) Museveni was given an opportunity to speak. In his own words, Museveni had never really met Brian the deceased so it is only fair that he talk about well, anyone but the deceased.

In his speech carried by the Red Pepper today, Museveni started by attacking the cause of Brian’s death as reckless over speeding drivers. Now as if we did not already know this, he told us that his own drivers over speed and will not listen to him anymore when he tells them to stop overspeeding. Nobody listens to the president anymore!

Over speeding taken care of, it was time to tell off the pretentious of society. Museveni went on to accuse Bishops of consoling mourners! The audacity! How dare they come to officiate at a funeral and come with words of encouragement and consolation? Who do they think they are?
Apparently the president does not like it when these Bishops say of somebody that has died that “God has called him or her. But I always wonder, why does He only call Africans and not Europeans or Chinese?”

According to him, this is how all bishops should proceed with funeral services
“Dorene’s dead. Not that God called her or anything, she just died. In an accident. Dust to dust…”

Museveni then summoned Gen. Gutti (the commandant at Kabamba where Brian was doing Cadre training) to explain why all the other co-travelers in the same car weren’t as affected (i.e. why did they not die). Would it have made him feel any better had the other occupants of the fateful vehicle perished as well?

Sevo also revealed that State House maids do not scrub the bathtub thoroughly and that is why the other day ‘God had almost called him’ when he slipped in the tub.
Anyway, just wanted to say I enjoyed reading the story that featured this interview. Find it on page 28 Red Pepper November 11, 2009.

151 loungers burdening me:

savvy said...

Socks!

savvy said...

Your president surely takes the cake!

While he's frank about his bathtubs, ours speaks about nothing of national importance except to declare members of his immediate family (there was someone who was whispering that he had more than one wife), so he was forced to call a press conference which was aired live on TV.

nevender said...

Sweet Seven. I honestly think this man does his speeches- as in no one prepares them for him.

the emrys said...

nev, you dont think someone could actually sit down to write some the stuff our dear president spouts, eh??

chic yo back with a bang!

kellie said...

At least your president is interesting to listen to / read about.

Ours sleeps mostly.

Count your blessings!

Safyre said...

Our prezzo sure speaks his mind! Such honesty pierces like a child's shriek.
Mbu why did the late die alone, no other passenger got 'called?'
Hahaha...

Erique said...

Someone from FDC writes for him. Either that or his speeches are the Antichrist.

I think I missed you. Don't know how it happened.

antipop said...

Erique, whats this missing nonsense? I heard you got a girl!

Savvy, Your welcome to your Savvy socks

Nevender, there in is the pity

Emmrys, still hiding from me i see, its ok, i shall adore from afar. thanks for the welcome

Kellie, first time to see you here, off to check you out

Safyre, always fantastic to see you here. i guess it is a crime to survive road accidents. That is why potholes are there i guess. To finish us all! or maybe iron bars too.

Ashy said...

We need a Ugandan shoe thrower!

Madam, nice to have you back.

jny23 said...

Please edit and remove that line about Dorene dieing. What would i do without you.

Good to have yu back my fellow playa.

gikobwa said...

is your president looking for a new maid? I would more than glad to clean his bathroom using blueband! nice to read you.

gikobwa said...

is your president looking for a new maid? I would more than glad to clean his bathroom using blueband! nice to read you.

TRP said...

:)
Nice to have you back!

Carsozy said...

Nobody listens to the president anymore? I guess that's why you didn't respond when he told you to date me.

Esquire of the mountain said...

the comments taking a story line of their own...
@carsozy's twist to no one listening to the president...mad props ha ha!

the president most likely ignores his speeches and always reverts to what he knows best..guerilla style, talking..."Gutti, why did the deceased die alone?" WTH....

Ugandan girl said...

lol...well he writes his own speeches ...what does that say about him. No wonder he talks endless rubbish..I guess i will take my hate to my own blog..lol...

where on earth have you been

gishungwa said...

Welcome back. Its not funny but i feel him. I wonder how much i would make as a maid or bath tub safety assurance manager? Off to update the CV.

Kol Mi Anko said...

About damn time!

Sleek said...

FINALLY!!

Sleek said...

I am with Ashy on the NEED for a shoe-thrower..i propose Erique and Carsozy: that way, no shoe misses

lulu said...

that bathtub thing amused me!

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Now darling, where did you go, could we get an update for that?

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