The cleaner and why you should never steal a phone battery

I am not a thief. My sister knows that about me. So yesterday when I stole somebody’s battery, it caught even me by surprise. Nuh, not really. I was there, so obviously I could not have been surprised. But this story did not begin yesterday. Sometime last year, there is this guy at work whose phone could not charge. So I graciously agreed that every time he ran out of battery, which was often by the way, I would switch batteries with him so that I could charge using my phone. That arrangement worked soo well until the weekend when we opted to spend time with our families (he with his family, me with the TV). So then he decided that enough was enough he was gonna buy another phone.

He sold the old phone-with MY battery in it- and got a brand new version of the old phone. So therein lay the problem. Sure our batteries were the same make but his battery was sooo weak I found I had to charge my phone often sometimes up to twice in one day. I told workmate about this and he promised to sort me out.

Now fast forward to yesterday. Workmate left his phone lying around so I seized the opportunity and went for his battery. In the middle of switching, he walked into the office, so I dived into another guy’s office and once the switch was made, I returned his phone. Whoosh! That was close. I had gotten away with it. In fact I had gotten away with it soo good, he did not connect the dots when 5 minutes later he asked to use my charger when only moments before his phone battery was full. So today morning, I am seated minding my own business which usually means that I am either chatting or chatting when he poses this question;

Workmate (not looking amused); Antipop, how would you feel if somebody read your sms
Antipop (taking the bait); Why, I would be incensed of’course
Workmate (pleased with his ensnaring antics); So how come you read my sms yesterday?
Antipop, yesterday heist forgotten; Huh? What are you talking about?
Workmate: Yes. Yesterday in the morning. You went away with my phone, read my sms and came back giggling. Don’t think I never saw you return my phone stealthily. Why did you read my messages? Why? So that you can unearth my secrets and publish them in the papers?

That tirade went on and on, so to put a stop to it, I owned up to stealing his battery instead. He did not believe me. And so the rant continued. moral of this one, when you steal phone batteries, never, ever giggle.

And now the cleaner;
Our office cleaner guy is very nice. He always makes us all tea in the morning. The perfect help if you like. So anyway, the drainage for the sink in the bathroom is broken, when one washes their hands, the water just leaks on down to the floor. So Wasswa, he is bright, put a bucket underneath the sink to hold the water. Now on two occasions when the bucket is full good, he has proceeded to empty the contents back into the sink….

Introducing; beeeme.wordpress.com. I find that she writes brilliantly.

22 loungers burdening me:

31337 said...

hmm.

someone call the police.

31337 said...

that cleaner guy. priceless.

Erique said...

How to successfully steal a phone battery without getting nabbed:
1. Look at the phone.
2. Want to steal the battery. This is crucial to the mission.
3. Steal the battery.
4. Find ways of not getting caught.

*The writer is an award winning crook working for worldwide companies like SQNY, Panasoaenic and Phillibs.

nevender said...

Dedication to the cleaner- Don't worry , be happy!

I can't stop laughing...wuahahahahaha

Baz said...

Also you. Just say you are sorry, you will never read his sms again, buy him a lindazi to make up for it, and keep the battery.

I am Nathan Petrelli.

jny23ug said...

I knew there had to be atleast one -ve character in yo life.
Off to buy me'self a sony ericsson

Miss Cheri said...

Lol, Wasswa is an evil genuis.

valentia said...

I have laughed this morning..

Don't giggle when you steal a phone battery??

And the cleaner...priceless :)

Sybella said...

lol... antipop. how many people do you think will be stealing batteries from other people, ever?! thanks for the advice though...

Igiss said...

So what did the sms say?

TRP said...

Cleaner Guy....Priceless

walkonby said...

goes to show you that some people would rather be lied to than admit that they've got something to hide...
as for cleaner man, tee hee hee, lol

The 27th Comrade said...

With the cleaner, it could be that the problem is not really with the gushes, but the drips. Sometimes, the dumb thing is the better-optimised thing.

And on the battery, nice move. :o)

Be silent said...

Ha ha ha you simply got back your battery you are not a thief... Bambi Wasswa you guys should tip him

Princess said...

lmao! I swear the sun just came back out of those winter clouds! :D

Emi's said...

hahahahaha ROFL Stupid cleaner...

well done anti, now you should upgrade to the real thing The phone it's self..I know how we could dispose em off profitably with my contacts in Juba.

Spartakuss said...

THAT CHIC YOU LINKED YOUR BLOG TO is awesome!!! her writing is just legendary!!!

B2B said...

Again trampchild rocketh

and the moral of the story rocketh even more...

Carsozy said...

Congs. Just like me u practised in fifth grade by stealing chicken from the fridge, only we both used to forget to dispose of the bones after our evil deeds. Result:- migo gyenyini.

lulu said...

that cleaner lol! hahahaha
as 4 the moral of the phone thingiy, point taken!

AtomicLaura said...

your title (using 'cleaner') makes it sound like a bloody crime is being hidden...
ha
I recently had to completely change phones b/c my battery would n't hold a charge through a conversation

Dennis said...

There is software Digeus I always use it when there are problems with windows. I also recommend to use Windsty Tune Up Suite. It restores system to a healthy state.

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