the one about facebook

I hate facebook
I despise it
Especially(or only) because really I am a computer illiterate who would not know the first thing to do with a social networking site. So to hide my secret this, I pretend like Facebook is beneath me. I call facebookers such names as juvenile dimwits, spit on them with unconcealed distaste and then walk away and go cry my eyes out from shame and envy.

Now because I swore to all of my friends that I would never be caught in the dead hanging with the idle lot (I hear even Harry Sagara is on facebook) I did the next best brave thing and opened a facebook account with an alias. You understand, I had a reputation to protect. Tamara Agaba was henceforth born on facebook. Tamara, because at the time that brilliant idea hit me I was watching big brother and the field presenter from I do not remember where was called Tamara. And she was tall. Agaba because I have a feeling in my past life, I might have been called Agaba.

By the way, y’all missed my kwanjula last nite. Yeah. I dreamt that I had a kwanjula. The groom wore a brown suit.

But back to facebook. I went about the process of inviting friends and my friends’ friends and by the end of that exercise, I had all of 9 contacts. I know. My friends are not very much loved I am afraid. I must say I found facebook rather boring. Apart from changing my what do they call it that thing that begins with Tamara is… it was an absolute bore. But secure in the knowledge that my undercover moves had not been found out, I plied on. But one day, this conversation took place in the taxi between my friend and I;

Antipop (says something true to friend)
Antipop friend(not looking very convinced)
Antipop: Honest. Would I ever lie to you?
Antipop friend: I don’t know, Tamara, would you?

19 loungers burdening me:

Anonymous said...

facebook is stalk~ish, period. and that conversation there proves it. it's as if people are there or add you just to spy on ur life.

Savage said...

I knew that was you and I played along.

First thing that through me off was me being among ya first 6 friends. I mean everyone's first FB friends are real life friends.

Then one time I busted Chanel trying to lie to me. It was something to do with a birthday which was around the same time with MARY's.

King said...

I was trying to correlate someone's "in a relationship with Tamara" and a certain Auntie Gundi.

But after the Facebook Garage, I have a different (professional) take on Facebook, so I'll play along.

And yes, King is my name, sue me. LOL.

mugarura.mutana said...

Last time I am saying this: FACEBOOK IS A TOOL OF THE ANTICHRIST.

But then, I've seen it work well for revolutions around the world, to rally a society for change, to encourage literacy, to boost the profile of a marginalized community ...

I don't know.


I confused.

petesmama said...

Lol. I have yet to succumb to the Facebook monster, but an alias sounds like a good idea.

Erique said...

*Wipes spit off face. Eyes red, he looks her in the face, makes tight fist and spits hard in her face.

That's for saying crap about facebook...and [spit] that's for joining.

jny23ug said...

Hi Tamara.


TRP said...

Its not that bad AP,
One day i decided to look for people i leasted expected to be on FB...Like Family, My jaw dropped!!

the antipop said...

King,SOS please tell me how i go about reading and or commenting at your blog! i never saw anything so complicated in my life!

31337 said...

me i am on facebook. i have no idea what to do with it though.


this kwanjula, my dream was slightly different, it was you in a brown khanga.

King said...

@Tamara dear,

Normally, if you click on the title of the post, and the full post loads, there's a box at the bottom of the post that says "leave a comment".

Normally, you type your comment in said box and press "Submit".

Normally, it then submits said comment.


I could be wrong though...

Miss Cheri said...

But gwem Tamara of all names...

Wakiri ko Shondrelle..

Carsozy said...

Facebook for halfwits, but why be biased, good idea with the alias maybe will also try and see what keeps those slobbish degenerates glued to the site.

Baz said...

Dont' listen to that Preacher's Kid. Let us ask the internet what Facebook really is.

Facebook is "a fantastic way to catch up with old friends as well as make new ones. It's about self-expression and building community."

(According to

B2B said...

It starts all over again!!

lulu said...

sagara on face book? hi tamara. like your blog for real ,
bringing sagara out ...and for shelling face book
to show that iwipe off the spit enrique has smudged your face with and send it back to him...!

nevender said...

so....wama Tamara, you add me on your facebook.

Emi's said...

King, I knew even some one like you would see the coolness that is face book.

Erique I could not have put it much better...

Bambi Tamara, Like Money, I've come to learn that face book is a necessary evil.

Yes Sagara is my face book buddy but I've actually never seen the dude.

I like that you can actually put up all your silly pics, unlimited kinda like a web album for all those digital photos you never actually print.

mphoebe said...


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