Use medicines sparingly

That shocking headline in the Daily Monitor yesterday stopped Ms Amy Winehouse in her tracks as she was about to sniff a line of cocaine. She split it into 3 neat lines for breakfast, lunch and supper. She had been meaning to cut down anyway. Dr. House did not bother with the details of the story as he set about finding more cunning ways of sneaking more Vicodine out of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital without Cuddy noticing.

The truth is though, those two people could not be bothered because The director General of Health services in Uganda Dr. Sam Zaramba has urged Ugandans to use available medicines sparingly to save the country from a possible drug hitch. According to him, the Country has been experiencing a shortage of anti Tuberculosis drugs. This has forced Uganda to borrow drugs from neighboring Kenya . I can see how this one played out;

Hello Mr. Kamau? It is me Sam. How are you at this juncture and how is Nyambura? Glad to hear u guys finally managed to cross the River between. We were all holding our breaths for you…
Now, do you think you can get us some few panadols? You see Mama Musoke and the baby girl are with Malaria. And I suspect you have also heard about Museveni’s finger. So we could use all the Panadol you can lay your hands on. Scratch that. Just send over one dosage and we shall split it equally between the three just fine. Right. Right. Uh huh, uh huh, Yea, Mrs. Kibaki won’t let you? Okay then. Glad we caught up. Gotta go. I have Mr. Nyerere on the other line now…

Meanwhile mother of three in Sembabule whose eldest child is about to swallow medicine suddenly screams out; I warn you junior. Stop arguing with me. From today on it is 2x2, then at night we can always just put a damp cloth on your forehead to make up for the other 2 tabs. You see, we are trying to save the rest for when Joan gets ill, okay?

But let us get to the big picture here. Large men in their large jackets and briefcases are stealing money that is meant to buy enough drugs to sustain the country for a period of time, and yet they roam the streets in their expensive cars while we sit and watch helplessly.

Dr Zaramba says the shortage is due to delays within the Global Fund in Geneva to remit funds. And who can blame those guys in Geneva? Last year, then minister of health Jim Muwhezi, his deputy Mike Mukula and Alex Kamugisha were charged with embezzlement and misuse of up to $1.63 million(and counting) from a gift of $3.86 million to the Health Ministry from the Global Alliance for Vaccines and Immunization.

Teddy Ssezi Cheeye, the director of economic affairs at the Internal Security Organization, was recently arrested and charged with embezzlement of Shs120 million worth of Global Fund money. If a dose of anti-malarials is about Shs. 12,000-14,000, you do the maths.

While these four go to sleep in luxury security fenced mansions where mosquitoes and disease causing germs and viruses are electrocuted at the wire fence to ensure that they do not need drugs, children in the North get infected with Polio.

In another part of the world, Pink does not agree that pills are all that important anyway. See, according to her, they keep making her ill. When the drugs are finished good, I guess that’s the message Dr Sam will be putting out to the public. Pills are bad. Instead of making you better, they keep making you ill. You heard?

21 loungers burdening me:

Minty said...

This post is taut with sacarstic outrage. And I share that feeling totally.
Why must the fat cats always get away with it?

Ugandan girl said...

i vow from today onwards i am going to stop reading monitor and vision online...i much prefer getting my news here..unbiased...

Anti hope you dont need drugs soon..xx

31337 said...

errr.... ok. sharing is caring. politicians are bad for your health. i have told people time and time again...

normzo™ said...

Talking about Cheeye...just saw the guy an hour a go on Dewinton road with his armed guard....


why??

tumwijuke said...

So on National Cane All Politicians Day, I'll give you first chance at the whip.

- And on other blah, why, oh why aren't you writing for that outfit you are stuck in?

Ivan said...

Leave Pink out of this, but that Mama Musoke thing... What are you saying????

the emrys said...

but i also keep seeing cheye all over town, oba town is his prison now

Chanel said...

This is good, this is really really good.
By the way people did I mention that antipop is my friend?
This is you are so damn......why did you live the outfit?

Liz said...

Antipop you don't write for a paper or mag?! Damn shame.
The thought of the recent Ministry of Health fiascos(READ: STATE AIDED SCAMS) sickens me so much, every time I think about it, I get sick to my stomach. And there is the latest about cough syrups that the government seems to be treating lightly. What the hell are they waiting for, for kids to die like they did in China and Panama?! This ish makes me sick!!

Xena said...

hee hee, i agree with ugandan girl, i don't need to waste my money buying the papers, i can get my news right here.

mphoebe said...

good one babe
:-)

B2B said...

Full Props
Mad Props
General Props and all the other necessaries...

mbu electrocuted at the wire fence...

Dopeness Just!!

B2B said...

and yeah
i am co-signing with Tumwi...

petesmama said...

So funny and yet so sad. Disgusting that the same thing is going to happen again tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that. Disgusting.

Robyn.K.Y said...

i am now up to date.
great.

James Tubman said...

i cant believe she amy whinehouse would admit that in public

if a brother admited that on the street he probably would have gotten jail time just off the confession

sleek said...

Hilarious..Yet hitting the hard facts hard...lol@National Cane All Politicians Day..I'll cane after Jack Bauer(we'll fly him in to attend, and cane)

Anonymous said...

I just hate politicians.....

lulu said...

life is like that,

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