Bymark-

I would make a better president than Museveni.” I cannot tell you how many times I heard that growing up. But what I can tell you, is how happy it made me feel everytime I heard it. Any man who claimed he could be better than the ruler of this land, was to me a great man. His name was Bymark. Bymark was my dad.

Sometimes I catch my mother looking at me (I have come to understand that it is coz I remind her of dad), sometimes longingly, sometimes with anger. I guess from all those times he hurt her. From all the times he was never there. For all those times he was with other women. And sometimes in her distracted trance she will say to me “go away Bymark.” My mum is not senile. I just look like my dad. In some angles (whatever that means). And sometimes my mum says it is the way I talk. “In the same proud way that Bymark used to talk” she describes it.

But this is not about my mother. It is about my father. It is that I will never talk to him again. Have him hold my hand crossing the road even if I was a big girl and it embarrassed me terribly. He will never say to me “antipop, come here. We need to talk,” in a tone that only suggested I was in big trouble. He will never creep up on me (I let him believe it was always a surprise) and tickle me. He will never play any fools day pranks on me. And my other siblings. I tend to get carried away. To think that him and I are the only people that existed, in the whole world. Our world. Really I have siblings. I just love to hog him. Fuck it, I love him.

1st April 1995, my dad woke my sister and I at 5:30am and told us that he had asked his workmate to bring us milk as he had forgotten to buy it the day before, so to go wait for him outside the gate. Well, I had just wet my bed (shocking!) and I was glad to get out of there, but my sister was not too happy. Anyway, armed with jackets and blankets, we camped outside the gate and waited. 7:30am or there abouts, a pissed off Susan (my sis, RIP) tells me to go tell dad we were tired of waiting and could we come back to bed? So I go, knock at his door, relay the message and to my surprise he bursts out laughing and then said he could not believe we had been out there the whole time. He asks Susan and I to go pick the calendar and read out loud what it said on the date. Susan failed to get the joke and did not talk to my dad for like a week. I thought his punch line was just too damn good. I still laugh about it every time.

Anyway, this was about honoring my father. Who raised me as a single dad (well, he had a string of girlfriends.) Talked to me about periods (sic), about boys (threatened really) taught me to do crossword puzzles, cheated every time we played monopoly, and found it funny that I could not pronounce the word ‘ratio’ [rah-tea-oh]. That dad, who I miss. Who I never got to tell about my first period, about discovering boys and the losers they turned out to be, who never saw me graduate, who cant see me now. Well, I know it is a long shot but if u somehow negotiated your way into heaven dad, I trust u had a happy father’s day. Because I was thinking of you.

28 loungers burdening me:

neema divine said...

aaaaawww.this is soo touching. every parent is important to their children. and its good that you appreciated him. i just came from sending my dad a late father's day card and am touched!!!
sweet.

antipop said...

neema...i can only say one word. stalker! i mean, i hardly even pressed the publish button!

sybella said...

that is lovely... good memories that you have of him which is wonderful.

DeTamble said...

I wish it had just been my Dad and I, even if it was for a short while. Your Dad sounds so cool! And what an awesome trick! Mind if I steal it and pull it on one of my kids? Muwhahaha! Those suckers!

Happy Father's Day to Antipop's Dad.
May he be watching over you and shaking his head at the losers you date.

31337 said...

a very good tribute to a much loved and missed father. is this the antipop that we know?

neema divine said...

hehehe...stalker indeed!

Anonymous said...

Not that u would ever find yourself at fault now, would u? Not from your viewpoint anyway. E

Dennis D. Muhumuza said...

that really was flowing from the heart. lets have hope; your dad could have whispered a have-mercy-on-me-God and i can assure you God will never turn away anyone who cries out to him

Phoebe said...

Happy father's day to Antipop's dad. and to antipop

Anonymous said...

this was beautiful

Princess said...

A beautiful tribute.
Cool guy, your dad.

Anonymous said...

Wrote one to my mum back in the days of letter writing. She told all my siblings about it n they wondered what i had written to the old lady. she still has it and tells me how touched she was that day but instead i feel oba how...i dont know.

Though i this is better...

Cheri said...

Buried beneath that hard rock facade u have Antipop, there is sweet soft and tender human being.

And don't shoot me those quizzical looks people.

I'm just sayin

Cheri said...

Forgot to say that htis was so touching madame...

Totally new look for u!

That u have a heart afterall.

I bet he did have a great father(s)'s day.

Carlo said...

So, you actually cry? Even sometimes? I'm so impressed and sad for you. I know how precious it is to have a dad.

Chanel said...

At least someone is happy for theirs. Mine's alive and really I am not gonna pretend about it "HE MIGHT AS WELL BE DEAD" Yeah yeah you can go ahead and hang me for that statement I just dont want to pretend about it. But i am glad I cant really say all fathers are like mine and wish all mothers were like mine.

DeTamble said...

@Chanel: That's cool, no hanging here. Sometimes parents are just hopeless! Guess we'll just continue to be happy for those with cool daddies...

nahjaj said...

touching post

Mr. Back2Basics said...

Yeah...
Touching story indeed...

@Cheri (the first time)
Nice fact... AntiPop is a sweet girl under all them losers and drama
Ok Ok!
i suspected that a while ago!

buttercookie said...

Eh, Chanel, I think that's too harsh.

-Miss Cheri

DeTamble said...

@Cheri: They're our parents, we were the ones who suffered them, if we can't be harsh then what was the point of surviving?

kissyfur said...

I had a dad very similar to yours and even without the string of galfriends( if there were then I guess we were blissfully ignorant)
And I am my fathers daughter too, down to the voice.
So I relate soo much to this post.

Chanel said...

Cheri he didnt mind pretending I dont exist why should I pretend he does? But I guess your lucky yo dad wasnt like mine

Phoenix said...

Im sure he is having a nice father's day...who wouldn't after a post like this.

Anonymous said...

Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhh.

Antipop for president

harlod said...

that got me crying your dad was such agreat single parent

gishungwa said...

Deep post and even greater way to remember your daddy.

Anonymous said...

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