Trivia

Social responsibility is when the conductor saves a seat for any woman with a baby during those peak hours when you cant seem to get a seat on any taxi, because you wont do anything as undignified as pushing and shoving to get a seat on the taxi.

Lack of social responsibility is when you have finally managed to get a taxi, say by doing anything undignified like mentioned above and someone is playing his polyphonic Luganda ring tones in succession at the back of the taxi. Far enough for you to be able to snatch his phone and throw it out the window.

How you see a guy you know approaching you from across the street, picking his nose and then he crosses over to where you are and stretches out his hand to greet you. Oh how I long to spit in his mouth.

Amazing how everytime usher opens his mouth I go week at the knees. Or is it when he opens his shirt? Can’t quite tell anymore.

You know how they say accidents just happen? Fuck no they don’t. People let them. Someone leaves a knife carelessly hanging by the sink, it slices your hand, you slap the living daylights out of them. Yea, and then you can tell them your hand accidentally slipped. Oops.

Don’t you just hate how empty ambulances (I know becoz I always peep inside) squeal for you to get out of the way in rush hour? Throw in the police cars as well. Oh and ministers’ cars as well. Damn them all.

This one time just out of campus, this guy calls me and tells me there is an opening, and can I get my papers in order and be at his boss’s office in 30 minutes? My home is like 2 hours from town but I made it there in say 45 minutes. I get to his boss’s office, talk to the guy and 5 minutes into the interview, I realize I am waaaay smarter than him. I politely ask to be excused and go back home to watch intelligent television. True story.

Toilet seat up, toilet seat down…why do people even ask that? If it is down, raise it. And if it is up, just drop it. Afterall the guy that raised it also went through a lot of trouble getting it up there.

A seasoned lifestyle writer for one of the dailies writes a story about the importance and bliss of getting a manicure. Than she ends her article thus; “after the experience, I walked out of the salon with well manicured nails.” Shocking!

Finally realizing that putting “cleaning out my closet” on auto repeat and listening in the whole day is a wee bit weird.

That it is physically impossible to make my bed everyday.

They say you can only move as fast as who is in front of you. Heck no. You shove them out of the way and jog if you so desire. Or crawl.