My aunt’s clueless

We all have him/her. The family idiot. And for outsiders, that might be their village idiot. Well, I am only hoping that nobody from my family reads this blog or I am a dead woman. Girl. Boy? Anyway, so this aunt of mine, who is very rich by the way, has very many off days. She says the weirdest things, interprets things in the weirdest way, and is well, weird. One time we were having a conversation about a certain guy. Now, said guy is really proficient with computers. So my aunt jumps out of the group and screams (because she is not capable of not shouting) “oh, that one. I know him. He is a computer lizard!”

We let that one slide

In 2006, some of the world’s greatest sportsmen gathered someplace to play one of the world’s most popular games. Football.
The tournament; World Cup.
Medium; DSTV.
Venue; the sitting room.
Crowd; myself, my aunt, and various uncles and cousins
As all football games are not known to go very well all through, this one did not. At one point, the referee pulls out a yellow card, shows it to one of the players, who then walks away. Then my aunt shouts, “He has refused to take it. He has refused. Can you believe it? He has refused it. The man has refused to take the card. Look all of you... ”

Some minutes later…

A goal is scored. What normally happens here is that the deed is then replayed in slow motion and from different angles to allow viewers to get to enjoy the genius behind the shot. Or whatever it is people enjoy about slow motion replays of scored goals. So she is all excited about that goal and when they put the slow replay she says “another one! They have scored another one. And it is the same guy. In the same way he scored the last one. Is the goalkeeper stupid? How can he make the same mistake more than once? ”

Weird* = dumb