My aunt’s clueless

We all have him/her. The family idiot. And for outsiders, that might be their village idiot. Well, I am only hoping that nobody from my family reads this blog or I am a dead woman. Girl. Boy? Anyway, so this aunt of mine, who is very rich by the way, has very many off days. She says the weirdest things, interprets things in the weirdest way, and is well, weird. One time we were having a conversation about a certain guy. Now, said guy is really proficient with computers. So my aunt jumps out of the group and screams (because she is not capable of not shouting) “oh, that one. I know him. He is a computer lizard!”

We let that one slide

In 2006, some of the world’s greatest sportsmen gathered someplace to play one of the world’s most popular games. Football.
The tournament; World Cup.
Medium; DSTV.
Venue; the sitting room.
Crowd; myself, my aunt, and various uncles and cousins
As all football games are not known to go very well all through, this one did not. At one point, the referee pulls out a yellow card, shows it to one of the players, who then walks away. Then my aunt shouts, “He has refused to take it. He has refused. Can you believe it? He has refused it. The man has refused to take the card. Look all of you... ”

Some minutes later…

A goal is scored. What normally happens here is that the deed is then replayed in slow motion and from different angles to allow viewers to get to enjoy the genius behind the shot. Or whatever it is people enjoy about slow motion replays of scored goals. So she is all excited about that goal and when they put the slow replay she says “another one! They have scored another one. And it is the same guy. In the same way he scored the last one. Is the goalkeeper stupid? How can he make the same mistake more than once? ”

Weird* = dumb

26 loungers burdening me:

seinlife said...

ROTFLMAO - OMG haha - i would be on her side recording every word...LOL - priceless!

Tandra said...

my jaw hurts...I shd give up this grinning thing

Chanel said...

So what is your anutie's clueless? You forgot to introduce it.

Emi's said...

Lmao.....talk about random.
but like you said, we all know some one.

~ScotchBiscuits~ said...

hehe!! she is a good person to have in the family.
whats life without ridiculous peeople to share it with?!!

Princess said...

LOL!
As much as i can with my mouth shut and seated at the front of the class, anyway... :D

B2B said...

Ok seriously

your Aunt is taking the full props award....

full full props award...

make sure you do a sequel post to this....
it'a recommended for Friday mornings..

jny23ug said...

This auntie of yours is the winner.
Can she be my auntie too? Pliiiiiz.

The Emrys said...

LMAO, had a relative who according to legend said the same thing about a goal during the '90 worldcup

Sybella said...

bambi...

Esquire of the mountain said...

there is an incredulous look on my face right now after reading this..luckily for me am still in bed(and alone)...this is funny as well as seemingly preposterous,

normzo said...

I think i like your Auntie...set up a date.

nevender said...

ROTFLOL

hahahahahahahaha

he has refused to take it!!!


I can't say anything else but laugh...

(Breathes)What an aunt!

nevender said...

Can I borrow your aunt?

Carlo said...

I can think of someone like your aunt. In fact, for me it seems more than half my family is clueless! But we need such people to laugh at.

Mudamuli Ntikita Ntikita said...

Me, I think she’s just cheeky. She might have missed a stage and it’s coming back now.

It’s like the jokes boys used to make when we were teenagers and then the girls would say, “Kale that ka boy can iri! Mbu another one.”

While other girls would say to such a joke, “Ha ha ha. So funny I forgot to laugh.”

Baz said...

Auntie Auntie Pop's is Redd Foxx.

val said...

You have cracked me up!!

Anonymous said...

Eddsla here

Woman, girl, boy (not sure yo self) yo Aunt is Dumb PROPERLY.

nahjaj said...

LMAO :-D

'computer lizard'??? thats the best ive heard in a while!!!

31337 said...

we all have one.

this post has made my day.

hai antipop. how are you doing?

lulu said...

am bedside mysef with laughter, your aunt is on another plane for sure, sounds like someone in our family too

leos child said...

i know a friend like that and a mayor too. that was killah!
mbu are you nervous?
nze nava namu vako da!
true story from the mayor.

feather said...

LOL

Anonymous said...

Seriously have u guys considered taking her for a mental check up???
At this rate even the patients at Butabika will laugh at her...saying that she is mad

boyf. said...

hahahahahaha

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