the date..the end

I have decided to put the matter of that date to rest once and for all. After this, I have no more answers to your nagging questions. And for those of you that will not be satisfied by the answers about to follow, you can go make up your own fairytale ending that you can do with as you please. Like tell it to someone who cares for example,maybe make great poetry out of it or turn it into a beer hall song. It’s your choice really.

Scenario 1
I walk over to where the date’s seated, I politely tell the waiter to get out of the way, which he does and I arrive at his table without any major hitch. I am not sure what to do at the time, so I just plonk in the chair opposite him. I extend my hand for a handshake as does he and then he squeezes it hard, hard, hard. I wake up screaming. Bad dream.

Scenario 2
…waiter out of the way, am at the table. He (date, not the waiter) looks up and smiles, stands up and embraces me in a warm hug. I am thinking I could get used to this. Anyway, a conversation ensues. Broke bloke (his coinage) and I are getting along like Paris Hilton and the paparazzi. At the end of the date, I ignored every principle my mum ever taught me about the first date vs. taking off my pants. I let him take me back to his place and we burned a hole in the mattress.

The end

24 loungers burdening me:

DeTamble said...

Socks! Hey Dimples :-)

Ivan said...

Seconds!
How do holes get burnt into mattresses? This story is getting too confusing.

DeTamble said...

Thirds!

*calls up Grandmother*
"Yo Oma!! Let's go DRINKING!! I got a song you're gonna fucking LOVE!!"

@Marvin: Use your imagination ;-)

Ivan said...

Fourths!

De, who's MARVIN? Using my imagination I've deduced that MARVIN is the name of a depressed robot in THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY.

DeTamble said...

Fifths!

Wow!! Your imagination is damn good!
Marvin the Paranoid Android and thanks for all the fish. Now can you imagine who I'm thinking of right now?

kissyfur said...

Marvin was a friend of mine....he used to sing a song, his heart in every line.
Alternate endings....Hmmm I will take number 2.

Chanel said...

Sevens, and if I was all the bloggers in the world I suggest you take the second Scenario. TRUST ME

Basics a Little said...

Should i
ok, what the hell

Eighths,
All this because he gave you a nice warm hug!
at least i walked her home...

I thought you fell down in the date 1

i'm with Marvin...
and Ivan tooo!

buttercookie said...

Ninths.

Ivan/Marvin, when I comeback I will show u how to burn holes into mattresses.

Lol...Antipop, I like your writing style. It's almost like u're sticking the both your middle fingers (and mine as well) at us.
Like Fuck off y'all. Go find another stool to sit on.

But this story is far from over..

-Miss Cheri

buttercookie said...

Bambi, omit the *the* from my previous comment...

-Miss Cheri

antipop said...

er, guys, please stop taking numbers. You are going to make it awkward for commenter number 18693... I mean what is he going to say? eighteen thousandth six hundred ninety third? wait, thats actualy correct. Fine. Go on then.

buttercookie said...

Twelveths

Akshully, he'll say "eighteenths thousandths sixths hundredths ninetyths threes.

-Miss Cheri

DeTamble said...

Thirteenths!

Sorry, just had to.

Ivan said...

Fourteenths!

Awesome, mattress-burn-age... is that a promise or a threat.

kakaire said...

You are very EASY!!!

Princess said...

Nasty Kakaire! tut, tut! LOL.
Second scenario definitely appeals...:D

Chanel said...

Seventeenth. Ivan you didnt jump for that? I suggest you mark a date on your calender with Cheri as subject of hole in the eeeh matress. Come on, make me happy, take it.

buttercookie said...

Eighteenths

Ivan...it's a lil bit of both. Threat and promise. A PROMISED THREAT!!!

-Miss Cheri

Anonymous said...

ninenteenths

@ kakaire, Very funny.

@ antipop, sweets that warm hug came between you and your panties. I should try that out.
Anyone for a warm one? am not wearing any!

kakaire said...

Special dedication from the one and only RED BANTON.

"...Nga kyali SINGLE luli nalinga EASY,
kati nfuna DATES banange mbera BUSY..."

Ivan said...

Twenty Firstie!
Ha, I got me a firstie after all, I'd like to thank the academy. . .

And I can't go around writing "put hole in mattress with cheri". . . My diary may fall into the wrong hands. . .

Esquire of the mountain said...

i think i have to agree..scenario 2is most likely to have happened..but do tell...the only things that burn holes in matresses are candles and acid..
perhaps i am not an android robot to decipher anything else...
And now onto Kakaire...umm interesting view on how someone is easy, is this your polite implication that you chose to conclude that anti pop took option two..is there a possibility she took option one...
P.S thanks for reminding me of that red banton song..Zam i believe it was called..."mugambe yo ku zamu, ayite yo ku damu..alabe yo abakyamu...red bantoni mukyamu..dj rota mukyamu, sentongo mukyamu..abantu batano bali ku muwala'omu..oyo zamu.."
Sorry anti pop for taking your light...memories from my days as a red banton loving swinger..thats all

Anonymous said...

Wama antipop, your light is still there

James Tubman said...

the intensity really picked up at the end of this story lol

don't think it really happened though

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