Taking the leap

I had been putting it off for about 5 months now, but I knew I needed to do it. No matter how may times you have done it before, it never gets easier with the next time. I was terrified but I had to do it. The dreaded HIV test. For all of the 45 minutes I waited, I began to think about the losers…

I thought about the one that stole my money
The one that hit on all my friends
The one that did not shower regularly
The one nightstand that got clingier than rat glue
The one that had a crush on Straka (I mean, dang!)
The one with the chipped tooth
The one that started it all
The one that never was
The one that thought was doing me a favor being with me
The one that I regret
The on that, that that


(insert paragraph where I try to explain to anyone who cares that the number is way less than all above…)


Then I thought about where I would buy a gun
Which one I would finish off first
Would I go about them in the order they had come in?
How would I pull off the perfect crime?

I began to construct an alibi…

That is when a hand tapped me on the shoulder…. “Excuse me, your results are ready, now if you will follow me please”

I looked at his somber poker face, and it hit me.
It was not about the losers. I was never worried about any of them. I had not done the test because it was free (might be lying there), or because my friend was holding my hand. I had done it for him. I had wanted to know because of him. I wanted everything to be perfect between us. I looked at the counselor and hoped. Hoped that he would not be the one that broke my heart. Because whatever happened, I was going to have to tell him. Then I panicked. I did not want it to end. It was too soon. I did not want to go back to the dark, dark days… then he showed me my test results. And I texted him.

30 loungers burdening me:

Sybella said...

'we' are now taking blood tests! indeed it is a leap...

The dare-devil said...

After slutting around you now want to settle down? Who is he? Eh? Oh, the unfairness of this world has me so convinced the test was negative. Bummer!

buttercookie said...

Lol, there is one that stole your money, didn't shower regularly,crushed on Straka, one night thingies...girl, u have been thru it all.

Damn. Antipop... on second thought, I don;t wanna be like u when I grow up. My mummy will kill me.

But u're funny.

So who is this? Or shd we just go about guessing...cuz I kno wwho it is...wanna hear it the horse(s) mouth(s).

-Miss Cheri

B2B said...

Back to the dark days huh!

that is a leap AntiChild...

antipop said...

@sybella. we are indeed. taking blood tests i mean. dunno about leaping. i have such short legs

@dare-devil, you are beginning to grow on me, but dont run away with yourself already...

@cheri, if you have a moment i can tell you my whole life story...it ends well, so i am sure we can have your aspirations of wanting to be like me back on track...think about it

wait. you know who she/he is? eeeh you be there wanting to be detective all this time? tell all, i beg

@b2b, alas, the sun shines!

leos child said...

lol short legs they remind me of mine.
so you were negative you couldnt hve texted had you been positive.
good to know someone is making you clean up your act.hahahaha

bazanye said...

45 minutes? I know a guy who can have them in ten. And you don't even feel the anxiety because you think he is testing for malaria, then he comes back and says "you're clean. No malaria, no HIV, nothing."

Did he also get tested?

B2B said...

Ok
AntiChild

i will be at Spectrum at 7.15 p.m i.e. i will leave the work joint at around about 5 to 7.00p.m
i will wait for your lovely blogren for a little while and after that...

i'm splitting

ok, till Eddlsah turns up!

Hola

kakaire said...

That was so sweet of you to do that for me. When I saw that text, I was really touched that you went all the way for me. Now that I see this post, I am just floored.

Now that you are safe and clean, come on over and lets get these relations started.

buttercookie said...

Kakaire, wessawo.

-Miss Cheri

neofreud said...

Well.. what were the results?

Ivan said...

Me for me I went to IHK sometime back and had a check up coz I had a crazy - bad fever, right, then they take like a pint of blood and this dude tells me I'm clean so I'm like, completely? And he goes like, yeah. you don't have anything but white blood cells that be there fightin and shit. so me also I should be sending a text what.

Josh said...

LOL @ Ivan and Baz.

Ah,the test.Some of us are scared at the thought of it.If it came out positive,I'd do Uganda a service.I'd educe our population by a few buggers. :D

Josh said...

*reduce

Dennis Matanda said...

Where was I when all this good stuff was being awarded around?

kakaire said...

Meanwhile Miss Thang, all those losers? Girl have you eaten things. If we were to bobbitt them all and line their pipes end to end, how far would the combined pipe stretch?
Say, Wandegeya to Jinja Road roundabout?

antipop said...

@leo's child, maybe i texted him and told him we needed to talk...

@baz, atte did he?

@b2b, i guess you have already discovered that i was not there...

@kakaire, a guy can only dream...

@ivan, i am waiting, what.

@neofreud, the results... turns out i am group A+

@josh, so, er, you have had some buggers then? pray tell. and call names...

@dennis matanda, you come and go. and while you are gone, a lot of water runs under the bridge...

antipop said...

@kakaire, silly

tres jolie said...

funny how your stomach churns, then you think, oh sheeit, running stomach? One of the symptoms? Then you really begin panicking....what if, what if?

petesmama said...

Ooooh, I envy you! I broke my HIV test virginity last year. So I will never feel that deadly mixture of fear/apprehension/near-madness again. It was such a rush!

I kind of miss it.

petesmama said...

But seriously, the one who makes you wanna do a test... that could seriously be The One. I wish you joy.

kissyfur said...

The terror!, even the memory of it makes me shudder

gishungwa said...

Kakaire you made me laugh ah.

Great move then there is the rest of us not that there is alot to test for.

mrsb2b said...

lol... kakaire, you just couldn't resist

chanelno5 said...

But Why do human being never listen to all this advise around and then have to go through the death of a test. It takes only one minute maybe less to slip the protection on. Experience of what five minutes can kill you forever. But I am no angel either. I am just wondering why we always give in at that last minute. Is it insanity? Is there something toxic in the hormones at that point?

31337 said...

i fear i may have shown up after the party has ended!

seinlife said...

me too @3 - thankfully late enuff not to make the list of losers....:-)

@antipop - u rule! will be popping back for more....

Phoebe said...

this is the part where we actually open the Champagne and toast---an event in our minds.

It is really the thought the counts, but the fact that you found someone and have found yourself, happiness, fac the losers is a real huge eventful COUNT

I've no idea what am going on about; i guess what i should say is, am not there yet (hold my hand) pliz.

DeTamble said...

I'm not going to say anything, I'm just going to gloat cause I know!!

Afrobabe said...

I actually did an HIV TEST 3 times and never went back for the result...then while sick in the hospital my dad had one done on me...lol

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