nothing saying, just in the mood to write something, anything

When my cousin twat was in S.1, he was suspended from school for constantly refusing to go for karate classes. His dad failed to get any answers from him so he solicited for my services as ‘cool cousin’ to get him to tell him what the problem was. According to him, his hands were made for just one purpose. “These hands were made for the ladies,” he said to me with such conviction. Four years later, I get these free tickets to go see shaggy. As I had prior engagements, I called said cousin up and asked him to pick them from my place of work. As he did not call to thank me, I assumed he had failed to get the tickets. But on inquiry, I was told a certain teenager had indeed picked them up. Three weeks later, I get a phone call and caller ID says it is the little twat.

Lil twat: Antipop, what’s up man
A-P: er, I am okay. Hey, how come you never called to thank me for the shaggy tickets?
Lil Twat: Be chill man, I had no credit man.
A-P: So, this is a nice surprise…
Lil twat: Yea. Gwe man, I have a problem man
A-P: obviously, otherwise you would not be calling me
Lil.Twat: Man, Hols are gaming man, and I wanted to take my shortie out so I need you to house me man
A-P: How much are we looking at here?
Lil twat: I wanted to take her to G.C for a movie, then later hangout at the venue so I need like 40k, what! (I swear he said that. I did not just steal it (what) from Ivan)

1. When did the rules change? In my day, I was not even expected to know any boy’s name. Not even at campus
2. I can’t even afford to go to the theatre myself? Why am I expected to fund this teenage romance?
3. What is shortie?

132 loungers burdening me:

Malaeka's Folks said...

you have to let the brotha represent. er, on your earnings, MAN.

Mr.Basics... said...

Ok Auntie (now you see how it makes sense)

Give him 23,000/= UGX and also a polite 2,000/=UGX for airtime...

and tell him that if said shortie is worth it, he should "sketch" the rest from another cousin

and give him a useful line so that he doesn't mess up his date..

then he will look for you later and not only for cash money

What!!
What!!

You had prior engagements, not to see Shaggy huh!

Hmmn my mind is wandering afar..

leos child said...

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e said...

twat
noun: vulgar slang
• a woman's genitals.
• a person regarded as stupid or obnoxious.

hmmmm?

kakaire said...

“These hands were made for the ladies,”- That boy is my hero.I crown him Mr. Personality.

Is Ivan your cousin Lil Twat? Kubanga those are words that seem like they could come from his pie hole.

Shortie/shorty
.A shorter than normal person.
.A kid/child
.Adult female.

Tandra said...

kyoka some people can act... u dont know???!!!?

tres jolie said...

think back to all unnamed guys cousins that funded your teenage romances and give back in some way.
Why mention Ivan?

James Tubman said...

its a certain logic to it

start off low end up high lol

Oracle said...

Well, the guys knows what he wants.
All he has to do is get it

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Chanel said...

Go look in the mirror now Antipop. That staring back at you is the short-ie.

Chanel said...

Oh by the way have they started censoring who you can and cant mention on your blog? Just asking B2B? Mr Man? Tres Jolie?

DeTamble said...

You know Chanel, short-ies have this nasty habit of ganging up on people like you...


btw shortie also means cock

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i have to agree with Kakaire...lil twat is wickid(and thats a compliment)...he does remind me of my brother...man house me some doh...or a variation thereof...man man..at least a ngege(200 shilling coin)...
This post itself...wickid.

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