Uganda Blogger's Happy Hour; through my eyes

Ofcourse there was no opening prayer. GUG did not grace us with his presence and nobody else felt obliged to say a prayer. Hence BHH just started with no event. Most of us were late. We were a nice small crowd. We talked and laughed and joked and teased and shared dreams and sympathized and empathized with each other’s disappointments. We missed those that did not make it and most of you came up in conversation. We wondered how to pronounce your names. Is it Gag or Goog? Is it Sibella or Saibella? Wris or Rice? In the end we were as baffled as we had started out. Here is the roll call

It was the evening of ditching. First, he ditched me. He is a newbie and wanted to come for the inauguration. He asked whether I would be kind enough to take him. I graciously said yes, I will hold your hand, I will let no harm come to you, I will protect you from the evil claws of the blogren, only to tell me later in the day ON MESSENGER that he was not going to be able to make it, his friends were going to outside countries and he had to kiss them goodbye. Then another blogger ditched me.

Then I call my backup chanel who told me she was on the way and we would infact arrive at about the same time. She came 3 hours later. Apparently she was still chatting with Mr Biggs. Their story is nauseatingly lovey dovey. When she walzed in, she smelled mighty nice, was glowing like waxed floors, and her top, shoes and jewellery matched to a tee. And that plunging neckline! Any lower and we would have had some serious spills- from oba the guys?

The lovely Mrs made a cameo appearance just to whisk away the Mr. Off to a place unknown. All evening, the Mr. And I had been plotting to go home together. I mean take the same taxi home since we stay in the same neighborhood, but I have never been ditched so fast! I took the solo ride home and arrived safe thank you all for your concern

Darlene was looking lovely as usual. And again, she tried to recruit me into the UTL family. Your employers must be proud of you. The UTL guys. As for your other employers Newvision, I am not sure they will be very thrilled about the careless abandon in which you write their movie reviews. I am sure they expect nothing short of “a girl, in large glasses diligently typing the story away at the typewriter or on that Windows1994 Computer” but not this girl. She put her Nokia something something or other to good use and while she sipped on coffee and chipped into the conversation, she also typed her story away. Niiiice.

Dante and Carlo. Dammit! Dammit! They look cute together. Dammit! Dammit! Sorry about that. Green monster was attacking me for a bit there. But how can they be that happy together? I need a plan. But anyway, here is some juicy gossip that may work against them. Turns out, Dante is detoothing Carlo. Yes. I have it on good record. You see, Dante ate chips and something laced with mayonnaise thingie and washed it all down with a cola. And Carlo paid! That is detoothing 101 I tell you. We talked about Melanie, Thabo Mbeki, the price of gilr’s clothes in some shops, whether or not I would buy a pair of shoes at 150k, at which I said ‘heck no!’ Carlo's bored with her job. This is an appeal for anyone that knows any one that's looking to employ someone. Holla at her. She told a story of black condoms- you know, same shade as a man’s skin. I thought that was racist. She said just like Band-Aid, someone came up with those suited for a black brother. Must have been undercover brother that thought up that idea.

back2basics. He ditched me. Dude, i thought we had connected all evening? People!

Collin the blogger, I unfortunately do not know his blog, was there. Dude walked all the way from Wandegeya to Mateos. With that kind of dedication, we would always have a full house at Mateos. He talked from when he got there to when he left. He had lots of fancy words but the ones that stood out most were the ones he used describing clothes, hair, shoes and fashion. He described my hair as ‘tresses,’ said Dee’s braids were called ‘locks’ and I forget how he described Carlo’s ponytail. He wondered whether basik’s sweaters are always pressed at which point chanel pulled the sweater out and displayed it. and sure enough, there was not a trace of a crease! Collin meticulously advocated for men’s rights to wax, pedicure and manicure-kinda makes sense tho. Geddit? MANicure? I called him gay, he threatened to prove me wrong and I left it at that.

Solomon is tall dark and handsome! And that smile... he is the guy of node-six. He observed and smiled.

Turns out, you can't trust TRUST.



I pulled out a pack of them from my bag and Experts, collin, Carlo darlene and basiks went about discrediting the poor things. collin said they are a size or two or three too small and Basiks was more interested in knowing how many more I still had left in the pack. All three were still there


Someone else will have a different tale. Go with that one.

51 loungers burdening me:

Carlo said...

Sockies!!! Gwe tompayiriza mbu expert. I was as shocked as you were that Trust could not be trusted and Darlyne was the one assuring us of the untrustworthiness of it all.

Socks, socks, socks!

Malaeka's Folks said...

i like the rundown. there's so much happening at the UBHH. someone hug Jackfrutiy, wherever she is.

Sybella said...

dante... tsk tsk tsk (shaking head with disapproval)

Sybella said...

antipop, it's pronounced sibela and then wreese... does that help?

Mr.B2B... said...

"Wreese" huh
makes it much clearer

Sy, you ever going to come for BHH!!

@Auntie Pop..

You ditched me child...
but it's all gravy
Mrs did the necessary

nice review BTW!!

Baz said...

What is this? They told me you were not going to be there.

Just confirming my suspicion that you guys don't want me to attend BHH.

(Sulk.)

petesmama said...

That was yesterday? Darn! I had my brief on ending the war in the North all prepared! Put it on the agenda next month.

kakaire-awesome rockstar said...

Black condoms? I shoulda thought of that first. Carlo is the most unlikely person to be teling stories of about them.

And you Antipawpaw, you be ready for business 24/7? What with ya trust condoms on hand. Wona ofunirawo.

And what's with all this condom talk? Me says ditch the damn things. Procreate another generation of bloggers. Don't ya'll want BHH to live on generation after generation?

We got to fight for the right to parrrty. And have a pedicure, manicure, and rock pink shirts. I don't know about waxing.

There is a missing scene. How Chanel gets to be the one in possession of B2B's sweater.

Chanel said...

Sha Petesmama I am tired of holding my hand out for that celebrity handshake. Then you come here a day later and play the "Oh, was it yesterday?" card. That goes for you too Baz BHH is at Mateo not on Dee's phone.

gayuganda said...

Hey,

I was there in spirit. After all, you mentioned me first. I was in all of your hearts.

What will happen when I do come out? Seems, even in my absence, I am always present.

Sincerely, after all the mayhem of the month, you expected me to be there? I would have needed the Communist, AND his gun to protect me!!

So, maybe another time!

gug

Princess said...

Pics?

Tandra said...

Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!!! i dont know abt missing the fun all the time...

kati this collin guy....

Chanel said...

Collin is Spartakuss who I prefer to call Splakavelli because Spartakuss sounds like a spoon dropping

Chanel said...

Collin is Spartakuss who I prefer to call Splakavelli because Spartakuss sounds like a spoon dropping

Spartakuss said...

In fairness, you lazy minded girl-how could possibly say "Colin the blogger". its like today when i was on radio and the Fatboy said i should call myself Conrad!! preposterous!! I tell you. Now. my version

1.We got to talking about the black condoms coz a) Carlo mentioned the new "O" condoms b) the thought was that black porn needed to have matching cds so it looked au naturale.
2. we talked about a lot of things but none more than how we missed Matanda and and how he was arrogant in a nice way. and, as if in an epiphany,we all agreed that he was one of the best. Carlo thought he was a poser, and that she had seen his pictures with the soweto string whatever and the black mambazo. asked if anyone had been to his house too! that girl!! she thought he was cool, just too cool in his reality.and the bashing begun...
enter me to defend a guy i have only met once while he was eating cole slaw and his clearly metro lifestyle. oh don't get me wrong, i believe in pink; and i think "pencil" [the hairstyle] is tacky.
3.only thing we said about gug was mundane poetry, the rapping he got from Detambs and, tangentially, how she was coming to deflower the 27th gun.
4.in my defense i said the "trust" thing was made for Asian men.and even though i stammered on this i don't that thing meets "The International Condom Lubrication Standard."*looks into the distance and winces ever so slightly.
5.and and the Country boi came up too but everyone was sober and civilized about it.and Baz came up too, while he was on the phone with Dee.workaholic Tumwi was spoken about for a bit. and Iwaya intensity too.
6. no its not a post.my post will be up soon. i walked coz all the ATMs were broken down and i had to walk to keep sampling all of dem. some tweet mentioned that i could apply the Visa application on my card and draw from any bank with a 5.500/= deduction. tweet indeed. so i walked to BHH and after that went and talked to my banker; the ATM.
7. and then when someone mentioned CB's misdemeanors Carlo's post on boobs came up and we compared breasts of all ladies in attendance. you can imagine how that went.BTW antipop that T-shirt gave me clouded judgment, you think we could do that feel up thing again?

Antipop's personal Ass Chanel said...

Sparkavelli take this to yo blog please.

mphoebe said...

@collin the blogger: Bambi!

mphoebe said...

@collin the blogger: Bambi!

Esquire of the mountain said...

this update was quite a delight to read..no thats an understatement..i did enjoy it amazingly.
For some of us not there or who have never been there, it definitely is the only lifeline to the real world of the bloggers...interesting..very

Anonymous said...

eddsla here

its obvious i missed out on alot o fun!

DeTamble said...

I could have told you Trust was untrustworthy. Any condom pack that has people on it wearing such an obscene amount of clothing means the product was obviously not made for sex!!

And don't tell me how hot Node 6 dude is...you know I'm weak...

DeTamble said...

...wait a second! You talked about me and 27th? You gossiping little wankers!!

Emi's said...

These BHH Do seam fun to share and reflect. Whatever that means.

James Tubman said...

ill never ditch you sweetheart

im always just a click away

~ScotchBiscuits~ said...

y'all are hillarious!! The whole bunch of you!

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